Chapter 009: Diana
"What
have they done?
Stay
with me
Can
you say where you are?
I'll
be there, I'll do it
Just
tell me
I'll
never let go
Never
let go"
As I took another sip of brandy I studied Caine's face. What was I to
think of him, this Uncle that I had never known, this legendary figure?
I remember the day that my Father decided to tell
me about my heritage. It's awfully strange to finally learn who your mother is,
only to lose her the moment you're told. In the months following this revelation
I had spent most of my time trying to learn everything there was to know about
my Mother's life. Of course Caine had figured prominently in her final moments,
firing the silver arrows that terminated Brand's threat to Amber and
unintentionally condemned my Mother to her fall into the Abyss.
Did I hate Caine for what he had done? It's a
difficult question and for a long time I had been unsure of my answer, but now,
as I sat here talking to him and drinking his brandy, I realised that I didn't.
I do love my Mother very much, but it's different somehow when you've never
really known her. It gets more impersonal and in a way also more utopian.
Oh hell! I don't know, it's very hard to explain.
Let's just say that I didn't hold Caine's part in my Mother's death against him.
In the short time I had spent in his company I had become more than a little
fascinated with this Uncle of mine, and I had even begun to develop a little
liking for him. There were so many questions running through my mind concerning
the things he had said and other things as well, like his presence in this
Shadow, that I didn't know where to begin. And now he was saying that he planned
to get involved in the Family Business once again. Did he mean by that that the
things he had been doing lately and the reasons for his staged death had nothing
to do with the Family? I wondered.
"Yes, I really ought to show my face in Amber
once again," he said while refilling our glasses, "but now isn't the
right time yet. At the moment I've still got several other things I'm involved
with that are too important to suffer any delay. I've got to finish these things
before I can fully turn my attention to Amber again.
"Alright," I said after a minute's
contemplation, "I'll go along with that, but what about Murlas?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, with a
sudden edge in his voice. "I already told you that I don't have any sons,
and I think that I at least should know. Besides, I'm the elder in this case,
and I should think that I ought to deserve a certain degree of respect because
of that."
Ouch! Touchy, touchy.
"I"m sorry," I said. "I didn't
mean to be disrespectful. It's just that I keep wondering who Murlas' real
father might be and why he told us that you were his father. After all, he is an
Amberite; I personally saw him walk the Pattern."
Once again Caine's eyes narrowed to slits.
"Didn't you say that Sand and Delwin were
involved in this? I guess you'd better look in those quarters for answers.
He smiled as he said this and for the first time I
truly felt some pity for Murlas. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes once Caine
finally caught up with him.
Again there was this matter of Sand and her
mysterious brother Delwin, though. Not for the first time I wondered what they
might have done to cause such feelings of dislike and distrust. The fact that I
had never heard anything about them before seemed to indicate that most of my
relatives had the same feelings for them as the ones that Caine had displayed,
though I doubted that in this case most meant all. After all, Sand had known
quite a lot about what had happened in Amber (more in fact than Caine had said
he had known), which meant she probably still had one or more friends in Amber,
whom she could rely on.
As I wondered fruitlessly who they might be, my mind suddenly turned to
another subject. After all, Sand had said that I should ask Caine about it. I'd
better not mention her name again, though.
"Uncle," I said, "do you know
whether it's possible to fix a Trump in such a way that people would think that
the person on the Trump was dead?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, I've been dreaming a lot about my
Mother for quite some time now, but the latest dream in some way became
reality."
Again I told him of my adventure with Murlas and
the harpy, this time centreing on myself and on my strange encounter with my
Mother. While I spoke his expression softened and a sense of sadness came over
him.
"Yes," he sighed, "there are several
possible reasons for such a thing to happen. The person on the Trump might
simulate his own death, but things like loss of memory can also play a role, as
in Corwin's case. Now I don't want to raise any hopes with this, since it
represents just the tiniest of possibilities that Deirdre might still be alive,
and the disappointment if she really is dead might be too much for you. You must
know that I never meant for her to be dragged along by Brand, but I had to nail
him. If I could have saved her, I would. You understand that don't you?"
"I do," I said, studying his face. He
really seemed quite distressed and guilty because of what had happened to my
Mother.
"As a matter of fact I'm not too certain of
Deirdre's fate myself," he continued. "Looking for her, or at least
knowing for certain whether or not she is dead, is one of those things that
keeps me from returning to Amber at the moment. I'll continue searching for her
and perhaps I'll be needing your help with this sometime in the future. Will you
help me if it becomes necessary?"
I nodded. Of course I would help with anything that
involved my Mother. Caine seemed pleased and we both drank our brandies in
silence for a while, waiting for the sad mood to be somewhat lifted. There was
another matter I was musing upon, but before I had had a chance to phrase my
question in a proper way, Caine brought up the subject himself.
"There is another favour I'd like to ask of
you. It concerns Diana.
"Err, I do have some personal matters that
require my attention," I said.
"Oh, they will have to wait," Caine
answered with an unbreakable positiveness.
"Have you told Diana anything about Amber and
the Family?"
"No, of course not!"
"Then how am I supposed to introduce
her?"
He smiled. "Oh, you'll think of
something."
Great! Just great! Why is everyone always asking
favours of me? Another fine mess I had gotten myself into...
"Don't worry," he said, "I will
explain everything to Diana."
Oh yes! That will certainly solve all my problems!
Thank you very much!
We sat awhile in silence until Diana returned. She
told us Elsa's leg was already much better. As if by mutual agreement we kept
our topics of discussion as innocent as possible for the remainder of the
evening, and in spite of my frustrations I found that I was enjoying myself very
much. Diana was really nice company and I caught myself thinking that it would
be a pleasure to travel to Amber with her. At least that would be something for
my troubles.
We didn't stay up too late, because of
our planned sailing-trip the next morning. I didn't immediately go to sleep
however, but I spent some time contemplating my Trumps. Should I try contacting
anyone in Amber and tell them about Murlas? I realised that I couldn't do that
in any way without revealing that Caine was alive. I thought awhile about
contacting Sand. Maybe she still had some useful information to trade.
Then again, if Caine were to find out, I felt he would certainly consider
it to be an act of betrayal on my part, and I did't want to get on his bad side.
In the end I just put all my Trumps away again. I felt I had cast in my lot with
Caine, so to speak, and I wasn't about to betray
him yet. Let's just call it a matter of honour.
After another dreamless night and an early breakfast we rode out to a
neighbouring port, where Caine had a small sailing-vessel ready for us. I had
some small misgivings about delaying my search for Suzanne like this, but I put
them aside, feeling that another day here wouldn't matter too much compared to
the months she had been gone from Earth. I would catch up with her soon enough,
I hoped...
As we boarded Caine's fine boat Wylde made quite a
scene, refusing to come along because of her dislike of water. I told her not to
put on such airs; I know she doesn't like water too much, but she had sailed
with me on previous occasions without making such a fuss. She wouldn't relent
though, and even my promise of catching some fish for her couldn't persuade her.
"My, she is a smart one, isn't she?"
Diana remarked.
"Yes, she certainly is. Got a will of her own
as well."
"Let me try. Here kitty, kitty..."
Her efforts of luring Wylde aboard seemed to be as
wasted as mine, when suddenly she moved forward and before Wylde had any time to
react Diana had already snatched her up and jumped back aboard.
"Here she is. Oh, you're a nice little kitty.
Yes, you are."
Wylde made a growling noise, but I warned her
before she could use her claws on Diana. She may be more intelligent than other
cats, but her instincts remain unchanged.
We had a lovely day on the water. The relatively
quiet of the waves made me guess that this was actually some kind of big lake,
but it was a lot bigger than any lake I had ever seen before, for I couldn't see
any shoreline but the one we had departed from.
Caine proved that his reputation as a sailor was
well-earned and it was clear that Diana had learned the art of sailing from him,
for she was nearly as competent as he was. Caine let Diana do most of the work,
but she allowed me some time at the helm too. I enjoyed myself very much. The
wind in my face and the sound of the waves breaking against the bow almost made
me forget all my problems. I glanced at Diana, who had chosen some casual
clothing for the occasion, but still managed to look as lovely as she had the
day before wearing her dress. It didn't matter what kind of clothes she would
wear, she would always look terrific.
A sudden feeling of guilt crept upon me. Somehow
Diana had me pushing all my feelings for Suzanne back, not really forgetting
about them, but more like putting them on hold. Hell, I would have to leave
soon, and if Diana was still coming with me she would just have to accompany me
on my quest before I could take her to Amber.
Later I remembered to catch some fish for Wylde,
who had been quite bad-tempered the whole day. I threw out a line, but when I
still hadn't caught anything after half an hour I decided to fix my chances a
little bit. I concentrated a little and soon dozens of fishes were eager to take
my bait. I selected a really big one for Wylde, which lifted her mood somewhat.
Diana smiled as she saw Wylde eagerly tearing into the fresh fish.
"She's quite a pet. Wherever did you find
her?"
"Well, actually I didn't; she found me. One
day she just decided to stay with me and we haven't been apart ever since."
That was in fact the truth. Wylde had joined me
while I had been staying in Telgan, but she never had told where she had come
from or why she had chosen to stay with me in the first place. I had often
wondered about it, but whenever I tried to question her about it she always
managed to switch subjects. It didn't really matter that much to me, though; she
was simply a good friend and I was very happy with her company.
When we headed back to the shore, sometime late in
the afternoon, I started singing some old sailors' ballad. Both Caine and Diana
listened in silence as I sang about a sailor's love and hate relationship with
the ocean. When I had finished Diana applauded, saying that I had a very good
voice. Caine didn't say very much, but I could tell from his expression that he
had appreciated my little musical indulgence.
Back at the manor-house I enjoyed a quite extensive
meal, before retiring to my room early. It had been a very nice day, but sailing
can be very tiring and I fell asleep before I had had the opportunity to muse
upon some of my problems again. Perhaps that was for the best...
Next morning after breakfast Caine suggested that Diana and I should
depart as soon as possible. I looked questioningly at Diana.
"Uncle has told me everything," she said,
"about you taking me to my family. I'm so excited. You don't mind, do
you?"
"Oh no, that's alright," I said, managing
a smile. I wondered what it was exactly that Caine had told her, but I figured
it would be better to wait till I could ask her in private.
I gathered my few belongings and joined Caine and
Diana at the stables. Caine had selected a fine grey mare for me, while Diana
had decided upon a black stallion, since Elsa was still out of the running. A
few goodbyes were exchanged and then we were off. I rather regretted not having
talked some more to Caine privately, but then again I had the feeling that I
wouldn't have gotten any more information out of him than I already had.
When we had ridden for some time and I felt we had
distanced ourselves enough from the house, I drew rein and asked Diana what her
Uncle had told her.
"Well, he said that you were going to a place
called Amber, where my parents' family is living and that you had agreed to take
me with you."
"Do you know who you're parents are?"
"No, Uncle Caine wouldn't tell me. He said it
had something to do with a promise he had made. However, he did say that it was
my Father's family that I was going to visit. I'm quite looking forward to
meeting them. I do hope they'll like me."
"I'm sure they will. Has Caine told you
anything about Amber and the Family?" I asked with a sinking feeling of
desperation.
"No," she said innocently. "Is there
a problem?"
"No, no," I said with a sigh, "let's
just ride on a little bit and I'll try to explain everything later."
"Alright," she said smiling.
As we rode on I concentrated and very slowly
started shifting. At first Diana didn't notice it, but after a while her
expression became one of total surprise.
Well, either she really didn't know anything, or
she was a better actor than anyone I had ever encountered. How should I explain
everything to her, though? Although she was very sweet and refreshingly
innocent, I felt that she was also somewhat naive concerning things like trust
and friendship. I suddenly pictured her in Amber, helplessly falling prey to all
of the Family intrigues. No way I was going to allow that to happen! I realised
that despite the very short time that I had known her I liked her and even cared
for her. No harm would come her way while I would have a say in it! Besides,
Caine had entrusted her safety to me, and I wasn't going to let him down.
Suddenly, while I was figuring the best way to
enlighten Diana, I felt the familiar mental pressure of a Trump call. Curiosity
got the best of me, so I stopped and centred all my attention on the call. To my
surprise it was Algo. As soon as contact was fully established he launched into
a speech.
"Hey Dorian, I need your help. It seems that
Adrian has gone a little haywire over here. Somehow he has gotten it into his
head to challenge me to a duel over some minor thing. Can you come over and talk
him out of it? Or if that doesn't work, act as my second?"
"You do call at an inconvenient time. I really
can't leave here right now, I'm busy!"
"Hey, but this is a Family matter. Doesn't
Family come first for you?"
"Yes, but this thing I'm involved in is also a
Family matter! Look, I'll tell you what: I'll contact Adrian by Trump and talk
to him. I can't promise that he'll change his mind, but I can always try."
"Alright. Thank you. You're a pal."
"So how are things back in Amber? Any
important new developments?"
"Oh no, nothing very much ever happens here.
The only noteworthy thing is that I had another encounter with Violet."
"With who?"
"Oh, I'll tell you about her another time.
Bye!"
And he was gone again. Sigh! Another complication
in my life.
Only a few seconds after Algo had broken contact I
already felt another Trump call coming on. I glanced at Diana, who was looking
very confused and a bit worried. Oh no, not again! I'd have to start explaining
things to her really soon, or she might lose all confidence in me. So I blocked
this Trump call and said to her that we would ride a little further, wanting
some spot where we could talk without being disturbed.
After only a short period I had located us a quiet
little inn with an excellent selection of food and wines. As a young lad took
our horses to the stables, we found ourselves a table in a corner. When the
innkeeper had served our food, including something for Wylde, I started talking.
"Look, Diana, apparently there's a lot you
don't know, and I'll try to explain everything, but it won't be easy, so let's
just take this slowly.
"The first thing you've got to know is that
Caine really is your Uncle, that is, if he was telling the truth about your
Father being related to the Family in Amber. As a matter of fact, he is my Uncle
too."
"Does that make us cousins?" she asked
hesitantly.
"Yes, or at least probably," I said,
suddenly realising that for all I knew she might as well be Oberon's daughter.
This speculation caused me to think fleetingly of Vincent; another thing that
needed investigating really soon.
"Now, you've got to realise that being a
member of the Family of Amber makes you a very important person," I
continued. "Amber is the real world and all other worlds, including the one
you were living on with Caine, are just Shadows."
This produced a very confused expression on her
face. Apparently she was entirely unfamiliar with the concept of other worlds or
parallel universes. I felt like I was explaining the concept of sight to a
person who had been blind since birth. It had been a lot easier for me, being
born and raised in Amber, where almost everyone had some knowledge about the
Shadows.
I spent a lot of time trying to get her to
understand, using all kinds of different analogies. Finally I felt she had
grasped the idea of there being other worlds than the one she had grown up on.
She wasn't stupid, she was just ignorant. I continued by telling her about the
Pattern and the power over Shadow it confers to those of the Blood who have
walked it. I told her that I had already led us through Shadow and that this inn
was somewhere else than her Uncle's house.
"You can do that too, after you have walked
the Pattern. In fact, that's one of the reasons that Caine sent you with me, to
claim your heritage.
"That brings me to another thing: you'd better
not mention Caine to anyone. You see, everyone thinks that he's dead and he made
me promise to keep it that way, until such time that he saw it fit to resurface
once again."
"What should I tell them then?"
"Let's just say that I met you on my travels
in Shadow, and that you gave me the impression of us being related. That way we
can keep Caine's name out of it. You simply don't know who you're parents are,
being raised by some kind Shadow-folk without ever learning anything about your
heritage. Is that alright?"
She nodded.
"Good," I said. "Now, I've got
something for you."
I took out my Trumps, found my own and gave it to
her. She studied it and then looked at me questioningly.
"This is my Trump. It's a special means for
contacting me, if we were to lose sight of each other. What you do is you
concentrate on the person on the card and reach out to them with your mind.
Then, if the other person is responsive, you can talk to each other, even when
you're not in the same Shadow. You can even use the Trump contact to travel to
the person you're in contact with. When I stopped the horses a little bit
earlier and I was seemingly talking to someone, I was receiving a Trump call
from one of my, I'm sorry, our relatives."
I showed her Algo's Trump and a couple of other
Family members, but I carefully kept the one of Sand out of her sight. I did
trust Diana, but I had the feeling that I'd better keep my ties with Sand a
secret from all my relatives until I knew how everyone felt about her. This
train of thought made me warn Diana about trusting relatives.
"Why shouldn't I trust them?" she said,
some disappointment creeping into her voice. "Do you think that they will
not like me?"
"No, no, that isn't it. It's just that I like
you and I'd hate to see you get hurt by one of them. I don't know, you still
seem to be so innocent. Just be careful, right?"
"Alright, I will," she said with a frown.
"There is one thing, though, that I have to do
before I can take you to Amber," I said, and I told her everything about my
quest for Suzanne. When I finished my story, she moved forward and placed her
hand over mine.
"Of course I'll help you on your search for
your girlfriend," she said looking sincerely concerned. "I'm eager to
visit Amber, but that can wait; your quest is more important."
"Thank you," I said. It just goes to show
that simply talking about your problems might lead to some simple solutions.
We finished our lunch and shortly thereafter we
continued our journey. Having come to an agreement with Diana about our course
of action, I again started concentrating on both Suzanne and those strange
traces of power I had found in her bedroom. However, after a few minutes I had
to admit to myself that we weren't getting anywhere. I just couldn't get a good
fix on the things I was searching for, so I decided to adjust my parameters and
started concentrating fully on Suzanne. After another minute or two I finally
felt I was leading us somewhere, but it felt like we were circling back to where
we had come from.
We travelled for a couple of hours, shifting slowly
as not to upset Diana too much, until we reached a rural Shadow, much like the
one I had encountered Diana and Caine in. Here I had the feeling I would find
what I was looking for. I stopped concentrating and we rode a bit further till
we came to a small town on the bank of a wide flowing river. From a passing
farmer we learned the name of the town, Wittebrugh, and where we could find a
decent inn, "Het Brughhuis".
We stabled our horses there and settled in. I told
Diana that I had the feeling that Suzanne was in this Shadow, or that I at least
would find some clues here that would lead me to her. She asked me how I had
gone about finding my way here and I explained as best as I could.
Then we went off to investigate. At first I didn't
know what to do, so I just tried some things. Concentrating on the Pattern, I
started searching for anything in this Shadow that didn't quite belong here.
After a minute or two I felt a faint trace of something and started following
it. It lead me to the outskirts of the town, to the driveway of a big
manor-house.
"Excuse me," I said to a passer-by, "but can you please
tell me who lives in that house over there?"
He looked at me suspiciously. "What do you
want there? That's the loonie asylum, that is."
A mixed feeling of hope and fear came over me. I
could conceive of the notion of someone from a diffferent Shadow ending up in
such a place, so if Suzanne was in this Shadow chances were I might find her
here. On the other hand, if she were here, I hoped she hadn't been here too
long, for I didn't put much faith in the psychiatric treatments in this Shadow.
With some new determination I strode up the
driveway, with Diana and Wylde in tow. The house was a big solemn thing, but I
was surprised to find that there weren't any bars in the windows. Here and there
some nurses were taking a stroll around the grounds with some disturbed looking
individuals. They seemed to be well taken care of, though, and I wondered
whether my judgement of this Shadow's psychiatric care had been a trifle
premature.
We came to the entrance and found ourselves in a
big hallway with freshly white-painted walls. An older woman in a nurse's
uniform, probably the matron, came up to me an asked whether she could help me.
"Yes," I said, "I'm looking for Suzanne Wyman,
please."
"Oh," she said, looking a bit worried.
"Follow me, please."
She led us to an office where an older gentleman
with a grey beard and spectacles sat working behind a desk. He looked up
inquiringly and the matron quickly told him why we were here, but at that point
my attention had become totally focused on something else.
On the wall behind the man, whose name was Dr. Vereijck, there hung a
painting of no one else but Suzanne, wearing some kind of old-fashioned dress.
At first I was struck with joy; I had finally found her!
Then I noticed Suzanne's peculiar expression of
apathy in the painting, one I had never seen on her before. Also I noticed that
the painting wasn't recent; in fact it looked like it had hung there for more
than a few years. I turned my attention to Dr. Vereijck, who regarded me with a
sad expression.
"You are looking for Suzanne Wyman, I'm told.
May I ask how well you knew her?"
"Well, we are very good friends. But you are
talking about her in the past tense...?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. After her long stay here,
Suzanne passed away from us just recently. My condolences."
...
I was too late! I couldn't say or do anything for a
few moments but think of that. If only I'd had gone after her earlier, then I
might have gotten here in time. I was too late!
I was faintly aware of Dr. Vereijck getting up and
getting me a chair. I felt Diana's hand resting on my shoulder trying to comfort
me. Wylde had jumped upon my lap and was looking at me worriedly.
"I see that it's quite a shock for you,"
Dr. Vereijck was saying, "but you've got to understand that she was already
quite old and that she didn't suffer at all when she passed away. We always
cared for her and treated her well, as we do with all our patients, ever since
she came to our institution."
He babbled on, trying to soothe me in this way, but
one thing he had said had registered. I looked up at him.
"Excuse me, but you say that Suzanne was quite
old. How old was she exactly?"
"We don't know, since we didn't know her age
when she first came here, but assuming that she was in her twenties then, I'd
say she was about eighty when she died."
Now that didn't scan right. I just couldn't believe
that time would flow that fast here compared to in Amber. No, the longer I
thought about it, the more I became convinced that someone wanted me to believe
that Suzanne was dead. I had to be certain, though...