Chapter 079: The Other Deirdre

"... And what you thought you came for

Is only a shell, a husk of meaning

From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled

If at all. Either you had no purpose

Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured

And is altered in fulfilment. There are other places

Which also are the world's end..."

Little Gidding - T.S. Eliot

     Fabian, Melusine, and I had already been hiking for well over an hour when dawn broke. Despite the fact that we had still been close to where the remains of Corwin and Deirdre's fleet had dropped anchor, we had not headed straight on as soon as we had reached land, but instead we had taken a few necessary hours of rest, making sure of course that at least one of us had been on the look-out at all times, keeping an eye on both the bay and the wooded area around us, for there had been no telling how near or far Bleys's force might have been. There had been no signs of pursuit from the fleet, though, and the woods around the little bay had been quiet save for the usual occasional animal noises, so when we had departed we all had felt relatively at ease.

    The first rays of sunlight piercing the verdant gloom changed all that, though, because it gave me my first good look at this Reality's vale of Garnath. Now, there are plenty of beautiful locations in and around Amber, and you can't really beat Arden forest when it comes to terms like impressive and awe-inspiring, but there was no doubt that Garnath was something very special. This was the kind of place where I could gladly let myself get lost, to wander and explore its subtle forest to my heart's content. And I was not the only one thus affected, for Fabian unabashedly kept staring around him, sometimes nodding as if he'd remembered or recognized a particular view, and even Melusine slowed her pace a bit to get a better look at her surroundings. As I caught a glimpse of her face, I saw that she was smiling. Funny, I didn't think I'd ever seen her really happy.

    Pity though it was, we couldn't stay here, for soon Corwin and Deirdre would lead their forces to land to join up with their brother's. And unfortunately, there would be no chance of experiencing the same wonder back home, for ever since the War the vale of Garnath had been changed into a place where but few ventured voluntarily. It is said that Corwin's Curse, which he had pronounced when Eric had had his eyes burned out, had been at least partly to blame for the Black Road that had tracked straight from Chaos through all of Shadow right to the foot of mount Kolvir. Whatever the cause, the Black Road had also run straight through Garnath, scarring the vale to the extent that it had been altered permanently. It was no longer a place of peace and beauty, and even Amberites tended to avoid it rather than travel through it.

    With a wry smile I recalled that when Random had decided to hand out duchies to us youngsters, he had given the title of Duke of Garnath to my dear brother Murlas. Somehow it had seemed a fitting environment for him. And then, almost immediately after he had received his title, that huge army of pink golems had come trudging right through it, adding to both the duchy and the Duke's sinister reputations. I wondered whether Murlas had ever taken the trouble to rebuild the place, especially now he seemed to have taken up permanent residence in the Courts. Come to think of it, it might be a bit awkward, letting a Head of a Major House in the Courts also be the Lord of a prominent piece of land in Amber, since there might be some doubts pertaining to such a person's loyalties.

    With a shrug I dismissed the question, though, for if it were to become a problem, it would be Random's to deal with and not mine. Besides, there was something else that had been nagging at the back of my mind, something crucial that I had forgotten about. Something about the vale of Garnath...

    Then suddenly I remembered, and the memory momentarily stopped me dead in my tracks. Melusine and Fabian both halted as well, regarding me curiously and wondering what the cause could be for my suddenly anxious expression. The fire... Before the Black Road, before Corwin's blinding, there had been a fire. No, a Fire. It had destroyed the entire valley, but worst of all it had probably not been all that accidental, for Bleys and Corwin's army had just been crossing the vale towards Amber; the disaster had cost them a good deal of their forces on top of all the other losses they had sustained that far. And they were probably now marching on right behind us. Oh hell!

    In short bitten sentences I relayed this nice bit of local history to my companions, and without any hesitation we set out to discover the quickest route out of this death trap. There didn't seem to be much choice, however, for Melusine, who had apparently been around here before, told us that the main road would almost beyond a doubt take us the fastest to safety. The alternatives were either to travel along the beach, which would keep us away from the fire but which would also have us face some coves and inlets that would be hard to cross, or to head for the river Oisen, which would again save us from any fires but which would be similarly difficult to traverse without the aid of a boat or some other craft. No, the road it would be, but we would have to pick up our pace and hope that we would not run into any ambushes along the way.

    With an unerring sense of direction Melusine quickly guided us along the forest paths till we reached the main road. We had no more time to spare to marvel at the scenery, even though some occasional beams of sunlight breaking through the trees would at least momentarily direct our gazes to certain lovely spots left and right off the path. One ray caught Fabian's head, and I noticed how his hair had already started regaining a bit of its original colour. Just as I thought how this would be a bad time for us to get caught by any of the local Amberites, we were startled by the sudden sounds of hoofbeats behind us travelling quickly down the road. We had only a second to decide, but as one man we dived into the bushes at the side of the road, hoping that the horseman would not have had the time to spot us. Holding my breath, I saw that it was in fact not one but two riders, both looking rather familiar. Although they initially passed us by as if they had failed to notice us, my relief was but short-lived, for a little down the road they suddenly reined in their horses and stopped. Then one of them slowly trotted back in our direction. Peering through the bushes I caught a glimpse of the rider's face: it was Corwin.

    Damn, damn, damn! Why could he not have let us be? Why did he have to give chase? Why could he not have been content with the assistance I'd given him and not bother about us any further? Because he was an Amberite, of course, and curiosity sometimes seems to be our second nature. I should have known that he would have been intrigued by me, his mysterious saviour.

    There seemed to be little doubt that he was indeed after the three of us, for he halted his horse right at the spot where we had left the road. Just our bad luck that we had not had enough time to hide our tracks. Corwin studied the road for a moment, then he beckoned to his companion, whose face I could as yet not make out from where I was hiding.

    Suddenly Corwin's voice rang out through the quiet of the forest, calling in a commanding tone: "I advice you to come out and show yourselves." While he was facing in our general direction, I did not think that he actually knew exactly where we were hiding. However, the task of slipping away unnoticed appeared nigh impossible. I became aware that Melusine, who was but a metre or two away from me, was trying to draw my attention with some small but repeated gestures. With her right hand she made a slashing motion across her throat and then shot me a questioning look. I smirked in return. If she really thought that the three of us would be a match for Corwin and companion, she was sorely mistaken. Just shaking my head a little I looked from her to Fabian and back again, before shrugging lightly and slowly getting to my feet to face our pursuers. The others watched me move back towards the road a while, but then they too realised that it would be lunacy to try and outrun two horsemen, even through such dense wooded country, and they came out of hiding as well, keeping their hands in the air just like me.

    It should have been no surprise to me that the second rider was none other than Deirdre, garbed in various heavy-looking pieces of black and silver armour, with a heavy black cloak to top it all off. She, on the other hand, was very surprised to see the three of us.

    "It would seem," she remarked lightly to Corwin, "that your mysterious saviour is in fact my escaped prisoner." He turned to her with a look of incomprehension.

    "What escaped prisoner?"

    "Oh, that's a long story," she sighed, then gave him a smile. "Never mind." Apparently, this Corwin was as much smitten with his sister as ours, for he accepted her evasion with no further questions and turned back to the matter at hand, meaning us of course.

    "Look," he said to me, since I had been the one to come out of hiding first, "I don't mean you any harm, but you ought to understand my curiosity. Who are you? And what were you doing on board of my ship?"

    "It's quite a long story," I replied with a sigh, but apparently Deirdre was the only one who could successfully use this gambit against him.

    "Oh," he said, "I've got all the time in the world. Seeing as how Bleys still has to make it to this point."

    "There may be less time than you think." That got his attention.

    "If there is something you know which I should know about," he said, suddenly full of suspicion, "I'd like to hear it right away."

    "I don't believe we have as much time as that," I replied with a smirk.

    "Then make time!" My, he was short-tempered. I'd better give him what he wanted, even though he would most likely not believe me.

    I heaved a sigh and just wanted to start my true confession, when Deirdre, who had guided her horse a bit closer to us, caught sight of Fabian and immediately called out to Corwin.

    "Look here," she said. "This looks remarkably like a brother of ours, doesn't it?" Corwin drew nearer too and peered at Fabian.

    "Brand?" he asked in confusion and disbelief. I thought it a good moment to take charge of the conversation.

    "We're not certain about that," I said, "and if it is him, he's probably not the one from this Reality."

    "This Reality?" Corwin asked. "You mean that he is but a Shadow of Brand?"

    "No..." Both of them were now staring at me, although they kept occasionally glancing towards Fabian. "As I was going to say, I don't believe it really matters who we are, the crucial thing is where we are from. We come from a different Reality, a different Amber. And we are trying to get home."

    Corwin frowned, then whistled appreciatively. "Quite a story," he said. "I wish I had thought of it." I decided to ignore his remark.

    "We suspect," I continued, "that this person here, who calls himself Fabian, and who really believes himself to be this Fabian, may well be the Brand of our Reality."

    "Do you know where Brand is?" Corwin asked, turning to Deirdre.

    "No," she admitted, "I haven't seen him around lately."

    "Why don't you try and Trump him?" he suggested. Hmm, yes, that would be interesting. I watched as she took out her deck, found the right card, and began to concentrate on it. For several seconds her gaze remained locked on the card, but then she heaved a sigh and put it away.

    "He's not answering," she said.

    "Did you feel anything just now?" I asked Fabian. He shook his head.

    "No," he said. "Should I have?" Interesting. Well, we had at least yet a bit more certainty that he was not in fact this Reality's Brand.

    "Alright," Corwin said, "no more fooling around. Now for the real story."

    "Unfortunately, it is the real story." Despite my sincerity he did not want to believe me, and Deirdre looked quite doubtful as well. In frustration I took out my own Trump deck, slowly walked forward, and cautiously handed it to Corwin, making sure to draw his attention to the slightly different sign of the Unicorn on both the case and the backs of the cards. He did notice it, but merely shrugged.

    "You could have had them made that way," he said. He took out my cards and shuffled through them with a frown that deepened everytime he came across a face that was unfamiliar to him or one that was marginally different from what he was used to. Of course, since these were Pattern Trumps and since we were out of the reach of our Pattern, the cards felt lifeless, powerless. Still, Corwin seemed sufficiently impressed, for he silently handed them to Deirdre so that she could inspect them too.

    "I still say it's a weird tale," he said, turning back to me. "What are the three of you doing here?"

    "We're trying to get to a gate that will alow us to go home."

    "Where is this gate?"

    "Somewhere in the vicinity of Rebma. There are others, but this one is possibly the only one that is in working order."

    "Near Rebma? You've still got a way to go then. As it so happens we wil pass quite near to it." Oh dear, the implication was but all too clear: we would be their `guests' once again.

    "Somehow I believe your march is going to be a whole lot less orderly than you have in mind," I muttered darkly.

    "What are you talking about?"

    "Well..." I hesitated but realised that I had already made my choice. "All of this that you're currently involved in has already happened in our Reality, only in a slightly fashion. The main events are similar, though, like that battle at sea. Actually, I didn't take part in it the first time, since I had not yet come of age, but the tale is a familiar one."

    "And did that one end in exactly the same way as ours?" Corwin asked.

    "Not quite. In our Reality you had to do without the support of your sister here..."

    "So things ended quite badly for me, did they?"

    "Well, you lost the battle, but you still managed to Trump away and join the main army on land, and it was then that..." Suddenly I was interrupted by some rustling noises behind us, and but a few moments later three figures emerged from the dense woods. They were very tall men with bright red skins, six fingers on each hand, and uniforms that marked them as Bleys's soldiers.

Disregarding the three of us, they bowed rather stiffly in acknowledgement to Corwin and Deirdre. "Speak of the devil," I muttered, but before I could go any further one of the soldiers addressed Corwin, completely ignoring me in the process.

    "Oh great lord," he said in something that sounded as a growl, "the mighty lord Bleys has sent us to scout ahead and find you. He follows at but a few minutes delay."

    "Oh brilliant!" I called out. "Just in time for the big fire, just like the one that reduced the vale of Garnath and just about half the army to ashes in our Reality." All this explaining was getting to me, but worst of all I thought that I was beginning to smell faint whiffs of smoke. The three soldiers looked rather surprised, but Corwin immediately took command.

    "What's this about a fire?" he demanded. "Fast!"

    "Like I said, the whole Garnath valley was destroyed in a fierce blaze." Yes, I was right about the smoke. We were already too late, and Corwin knew it too.

    "Which way?" he asked to us in general. I shrugged.

    "I think the river would be our best bet."

    "That's not what I meant," he spat impatiently. "Where did the fire start first? Which way did it come from?"

    "How should I know?" I countered, my own impatience getting the better of me. "All I know is what I've just told you and nothing more. But we had all the time in the world to discuss these things, didn't we? Of course we did! Why not?"

    "Shut up!" Deirdre said angrily, but I was not so easily reined in.

    "Why do I bother?" I mused aloud.

    "I don't know what kind of Reality you come from," she said hotly, "but some respect for your elders would be fitting."

    "Respect is something you have to earn." I was in no mood to let these two waltz all over me. We had no time! We simply had to get out of here.

    I looked around and saw wisps of smoke drifting through the trees. In the distance I thought I could make out the first real red and orange tongues of flame. Okay, that was it. Corwin and Deirdre had already dismounted to lend the three soldiers the speed of the horses they would need to warn Bleys about the danger, and for now they had completely forgotten about us. I nodded to Melusine and together we grabbed Fabian and started running to where the Oisen should be. We really had to keep a firm grip or else we would surely become separated in the thick undergrowth, for almost immediately we lost sight of both Corwin and Deirdre. The temperature kept rising steadily, and soon we were drenched in sweat. The smoke also became much thicker, though, stinging in our eyes and obscuring the path ahead. Stumbling, cursing, and dragging Fabian along, I ran ahead. I just hoped that Melusine's sense of direction was sound.

    Suddenly the smoke cleared ahead, but all our hopes were dashed right away for the entire tree line in front of us was in full blaze, scorching our skins right where we were standing. Melusine looked panicked, yet she indicated that the river was still somewhere ahead of us; however, she had no idea how far we had yet to go. There was no other choice but to head straight through the inferno and just hope to reach the other side. Frantically we tried to find a spot that seemed less bad than the others, and when we thought we had found one we didn't hesitate but plunged straight in and ran like hell. This time there would be no holding on to each other, for we had to dive under and dodge aside from burning branches all along the way, so naturally we quickly lost sight of one another. Not that I was stopping to look for the others, however, not with the flames licking at my skin, kissing my face, nibbling at my eyebrows, eating away my hair.

    Blindly I stumbled on, till unexpectedly I burst out of the burning trees onto a steep slope running down to the swift waters of the river Oisen. With my speed there was nothing I could do to keep myself from falling, so rolling and tumbling I went down the slope, plunging straight into the cool water. For seconds I merely drifted, letting the cool liquid touch soothe my burns and scorches, but eventually the building pressure in my lungs forced me back to the surface. I soon realised that I was far from safe, however, for the trees and bushes grew really thickly and close along the river, and the blaze had been stoked up to its utmost proportions, making it almost impossible to breathe. The only good thing was that the Oisen flowed pretty quickly, and if I could just hold out long enough I would be in the clear.

    Diving again and again, only breaking the surface to get another gasp of scorching air, I swam along the stream, hoping to reach safety. Now and again I noticed other figures in the water, mostly the tall red soldiers I'd seen before, but also people from another race who were short and grey and furry. None of them seemed to pay me much mind, though; at that point it was every man for himself. The most difficult parts were undoubtedly the few areas where the stream became very shallow, which we had to wade through to get any further. With our reduced speed and the increased danger of being hit by falling burning branches, those were the spots that claimed the most lives.

    I had been swimming and limping down the river for so long that at first I hardly noticed when the river carried me out of the inferno. Coming up for another breath of air, I suddenly found myself floating in the middle of a large open field that had not yet been touched by the fire. There was another frying pan waiting for us, though, for as I looked around I noticed lots of soldiers standing on both banks aiming their bows at the unfortunate figures that came bobbing up to the surface.

    "Ambush!" I heard a sudden voice call out from the river, and: "Damn you Julian!" It was Corwin; he was still alive as well. There was no trace of any of the others, though.

    As the arrows started whizzing over our heads, I once again began to dive and swim downstream, trying to present as small a target as possible. There were far too many archers, though, and they had been well trained, so I couldn't avoid being hit at least once by an arrow that grazed my head. I was lucky. The others were far less so fortunate. That day the waters of the river Oisen ran red with blood.

    For a second span of infinity I managed to dodge most of the danger, and finally the river carried me past the clearing into an area with rather steep banks and some copses and bushes that were completely untouched by the fire. Slowly I let myself drift along till I deemed it safe enough to swim to land and crawl onto the river bank. Absolutely exhausted, I slumped to the ground. The only things that were keeping me awake were the pain from the various burns I'd sustained and my need to locate either Fabian or Melusine, or preferably both. Various people came drifting downstream, some still alive but a lot of them dead, yet most were either red-skinned or grey-furred. Not a sign of either of my companions. Still, I kept peering out over the water, insisting to myself that they simply had to be safe, they had to have made it just like I had. I wouldn't be able to go on without them.

    Suddenly there was a more human head among the drifters, but right away I noticed the scorched but still rather long black tresses that belonged to neither Fabian nor Melusine. Over the stretch of the river our eyes met momentarily. With long and weary strokes she started to swim towards me, finally managing to crawl on shore just a couple of metres downstream from where I lay. She'd lost most of her heavy armour along with her impressive cloak, and she seemed to have suffered even worse than I had. As I regarded her she met my gaze one more time before she sank into oblivion.

    Sigh. Well, what was I to do but try and help her? After all, she was my mother, after a fashion. With a superhuman effort I crossed the small distance between us and started to check her condition. It proved to be not so bad as I had thought, for most of her wounds were superficial, save for a few small patches in her neck and on her arms. The weight of her armour must have worn her out, however, and she needed some care quite soon, for out of the water it was getting pretty cold. Already I couldn't suppress the occasional shiver or chattering of my teeth, so I huddled a bit closer to keep the both of us warm.

    There was one other thing that I had checked and somehow the answer was not as surprising to me as it might have been: this Deirdre didn't appear to be suffering from any Blood Curse. I reasoned that this might account for some of the other differences between this and my own Reality, for if Caine's story had been true (as I still felt it had to be) this Deirdre would have had no reason to have a child, meaning that I probably didn't have a counterpart in this Reality. This would have left her hands free to help her favourite brother Corwin in his attempt to reclaim the throne.

    Yet what would happen to her if she were to continue on this course? The similarities in events were too strong for me to ignore. Should Corwin and Bleys indeed attempt their climb of the steps of the Kolvir, would this Bleys then also fall and vanish from sight, and would Corwin climb to the top only to be captured, blinded, and imprisoned? What would happen to Deirdre? And could I allow it to happen?

    No, I decided, I couldn't. Someone else might have stressed the dangers of meddling in this situation, for if I changed this Reality's course of history the whole course of the War with Chaos might be altered, but I would leave such considerations to wiser men. No, even if this Deirdre was not actually my mother, she was close enough to the genuine article for me to care about her well-being. So, I would have to warn her quite soon and hope that she would heed my warnings. My mind made up, I searched her till I found her Trump deck and shuffled out her own card. The picture was nearly identical to the one in my deck, save for a slight tilt of the head and different angle of the left arm. Hopefully, I would be able to use it to contact her later on. If not, I would be in some trouble.

    We lay there together on the river bank for at least half an hour, Deirdre remaining unconscious and me guarding over her and watching out for any other survivors, but no other familiar faces showed. Finally, a couple of grey-furred soldiers came along and found the two of us. From up close I saw that they had both fierce-looking fangs and rather long and sharp claws, but they seemed to be mainly friendly inclined. They saluted and informed me that Bleys had sent them to look for survivors and that they had orders to bring the Pricess Deirdre back to the commander's tent. I nodded and managed to get to my feet. Cold and miserable though I was, I had been a bit rested and I found that I was even able to pick up Deirdre from the ground and carry her back to Bleys's camp unassisted. On the way I inquired after my companions, and they told me that Fabian had been found and that he was more or less alright. There was no word of Melusine, however.

    The camp was still in the process of getting itself organized, but already it was quite large and fire-scarred soldiers kept wandering in all the while in little groups, swelling the numbers. Guided by the two soldiers who'd found us, I carried Deirdre to Bleys's tent, then quickly departed before he could take interest in me. I caught one glimpse of him inside, his arm in a sling, but he was to busy with his maps and plans to take any notice. Apparently, the soldiers thought that I was simply one of the mariners under Deirdre's command and I was quite content to remain a nobody. I had them take me to Fabian, who was just as burned and exhausted as I was and very, very  glad to see me again, although he seemed to feel a bit awkward about showing it. Never mind. I asked the soldiers to keep me informed on Melusine's whereabouts, and should she be found to bring her directly to me. I was a bit worried about her, but part of me figured that if Fabian had been able to survive this ordeal then so could she. She just had to be okay, she was our ticket home.

    For the moment I was happy to rest a little, have a physician take a look at my wounds, and then huddle in a blanket beside a campfire with a bowl of hot stew and some bread and wine. It was heaven compared to the hell we'd just been through. Fabian and I didn't really talk at that point, we were just content to be out of danger. A little while later word finally came that Melusine had turned up in a little group of survivors that had drifted further down the Oisen, including Corwin as well. It would appear that it took more than a simple fire to kill off an Amberite, regardless what Reality they were from.

    While waiting for Melusine to be brought to our campfire, I repeatedly tried Deirdre's Trump, hoping to catch her before Corwin would arrive, but only on the fifth try did I manage to make contact. She was sitting in a chair in the tent, and her gaze seemed a bit unfocused, as if she had only now regained consciousness. When she saw that it was me, however, her expression quickly became one of acute curiosity. I noticed Bleys standing in the background talking to one of his officers, apparently unaware that anything out of the ordinary was happening.

    "Don't say anything," I breathed to her. "Please, it is of the utmost importance that Bleys does not hear about us." She regarded me pensively for a moment, so I added: "I'll be happy to explain it all to you later, and in private." Deirdre nodded once, but her steadfast gaze told me that I wouldn't be able to wriggle out from under that promise. That was okay by me, though, and I quickly ended the contact before Bleys would take notice.

    Moments later Melusine stumbled into our little camp, haggard and weary but with such a look of relief on her face that it nearly broke my heart. Fabian and I both got to our feet, and for a brief moment the three of us came together in a hug. It was not meant to last long, though, for both Melusine and Fabian quickly withdrew. Such a public show of affection was very un-Amberite, I know, and it strongly went against both Melusine's studied role of the cold and detached warrior and Fabian's sometimes dark and suspicious moods, yet it somehow marked a certain bond that had grown between us during the time we had spent together, with all the dangers we had had to face on our long journey home. With a pang of imminent loss I wondered what would happen to us when we finally returned to our own Reality, and how much of that bond would stand the test of time. We were Amberites, after all.

    Sitting together round the fire, I informed the others of my contact with Deirdre and of the importance of keeping Fabian away from Bleys. I knew, after all, that around this time the local version of Brand was supposed to be locked up somewhere in Shadow by his erstwhile co-conspirators Bleys and Fiona, so Bleys would almost certainly start asking questions if he saw us, questions that could only lead us into more trouble. The others accepted my decision about telling Deirdre something more of the truth about us, especialy if that would enable us to march along with the army, right till we got in the vicinity of Rebma. If we could remain inconspicuous, it was the safest way for us to travel.

    And although she sent no further word, Deirdre kept true to her promise. We spent a quiet night wrapped in our blankets under the stars, and the next morning when the army broke camp we lended a hand and simply fell in line when it was time to move out. The entire day we saw nothing of either Corwin or Deirdre, but at the end of the day, while we were eating the meal that had been handed out to us, a soldier came to inform me that Princess Deirdre was ready for our promised meeting. He guided me to a little copse at a small distance from the main body of the army, where I found her gazing out into the night. The light of the stars and moon seemed to bath her in a silver glow that was peculiarly hers. As she turned and noticed me, she gave me a brief smile, but right away her expression turned serious again. She dismissed the guard, and then we were truly alone.

    "I've managed to persuade Corwin to keep his mouth shut about you," she began after we had regarded each other in silence for a few minutes, "but now it is time for you to tell me what this is really all about."

    "Alright." I nodded and sighed. This was far from easy. "The story we told you earlier about us being from a different Reality is really the truth. I can't help it either."

    "Who exactly are you?" she asked. "A member of the Royal Family over there?  Another son of Oberon?"

    "No, one of the next generation, Oberon's grandchildren, so to speak. There are quite a few of us."

    "And who is your parent?" I hesitated, but there were no two ways about this.

    "You are. Or at least, our Reality's version of you."

    "Then you are...?" she began, but her surprise got the better of her. She tried again: "So you could have been my son?"

    "Yes." I met her gaze and didn't look away.

    "I don't have a son," she said softly.

    "I know." A strange mixture of joy and sadness took hold of me. I felt glad that this Deirdre had not been afflicted by the Curse, but at the same time I grieved for my own alter ego who would never exist in this Reality.

    "There are many different paths one might take," she mused, and I nodded.

    "Still," I said, "in our Reality Corwin and Bleys's campaign against Eric happened in a more or less simlar fashion as it is doing over here."

    "Only I was not involved, was I?"

    "No, you weren't. They lost a lot of men along the way, but they finally reached the foot of the Kolvir and began the long climb along the steps to the top."

    "The eastern stairs?" she interrupted me. "But the plan is to approach Amber from the west side."

    "That might be so," I said with a shrug, indicating that plans might be changed, or that the course of events might still run differently over here. "Anyway, in our Reality they had to fight their way to the top, and at a certain point Bleys fell from the stairs and disappeared from sight for a long while. Corwin, however, managed to reach the castle with but a handful of men, and in the end he was overpowered by Eric's forces." I strove hard to keep my voice neutral, but it was difficult to remain unemotional while telling her this part of the story. I didn't try to lessen the shock, however. "Following his capture, he spent the next four years in the dungeons, after Eric had his eyes burned out."

    In the faint light I saw her swallow hard, yet she strove to remain calm. It was clear that this Deirdre cared at least as much for her brother as my mother, if not more.

    "Things are different over here," I said softly. "The end may be different too, especially since you are involved. But ultimately this part is not really important. There are other things that are far more crucial than the rivalry between Eric and Corwin. There was another major problem back in our Reality, which only became prominent after this whole attack on Amber, and in which Brand was to play an important role."

    I studied her face in the darkness. "I'm not sure how much I ought to tell you," I confessed. "I don't know how much of it would be true over here."

    "Tell me anyway," she insisted gently. "If it isn't true, then it's easily ignored, but if it is... As you say, there have been a lot of similarities so far, haven't there?" That was indeed so, and I had momentarily forgotten the typical Amberite ability of simultaneously juggling several different conspiracy theories in one's head.

    "I may not have time for all the details," I began, "but in our Reality the three redheads, Fiona, Bleys, and Brand, had together devised a plan that would ultimately yield them the throne of Amber."

    "Naturally," Deirdre commented, as if this was the only thing truly worth fighting for.

    "In order to achieve their aims," I continued, "they had created a problem that would lure Oberon away from Amber. For this they had taken the risk of damaging the Pattern itself." I caught her look and quickly added: "Not the Pattern in the dungeons of castle Amber, that is not the original Pattern. There is one that is even realer, that is truly the crux of everything." Deirdre's expression was a trifle disbelieving, but her eyes urged me to go on.

    "The conspirators' plans required that they struck an alliance with the Lords of the Courts of Chaos," I said, and immediately she interrupted me once more.

    "That name... It seems vaguely familiar."

    "It will become a lot more familiar, if what I am telling you holds true over here. Anyway, at a certain point the trio had a serious disagreement, and in the end Bleys and Fiona ganged together and decided to imprison Brand because of certain ideas he had that they deemed far too dangerous to essay. That is why I didn't want Bleys to know about us, you see, for if he caught a glimpse of Fabian he would begin to wonder. Fabian may be our Brand, or he may be who he says he is, I'm not sure. He's had a number of dreams that would coincide with our Brand's personal memories, but there's no telling at this point."

    "But if he is your Brand and a traitor like you are telling me, why are you trying to rescue him?" Good question. There was only one good answer.

    "He's Family," I sighed. "And we are facing other problems right now, which he might be able to help us with. That whole situation I'm telling you about is history in my Amber. All that stuff is over and done with, all far behind us. At least, most of it is."

    "If that is so, who gained the crown?"

    "You'll never believe it," I said with a grin. "Random." She looked both surprised and amused.

    "You're right. I don't believe it." It was nice to see her smile.

    "Anyway, you see why we have to keep out of Bleys's sight, don't you? If he starts asking questions we're in for a whole lot of trouble, and all we want to do is just to get home."

    "An interesting tale," Deirdre mused. "It's certainly a theory that needs looking into. Only, I don't know whether the same things occurred over here. After all, I'm here, and that's already quite a difference." That was true. Yet I sensed that part of her was willing to go out on a limb for me, if not all the way, then at least a good deal.

    "I have to admit that I'm simply not familiar with all the facts of that time, since I had not been involved myself, but there was a certain theory that I've heard that said that Eric only grabbed the throne because he had got word of the redheads' plans for a coup. Together with Julian and Caine he formed a counter-cabal with the purpose of defending Amber, while Gerard knew little of their true motivations but went along as a neutral party. Then Corwin reappeared at about the worst possible time." I sighed. "In my Reality Corwin and Eric's rivalry was legendary."

    "It is so over here too."

    "These sorts of passions may lead to a kind of tunnel vision. Ultimately, Eric was not Amber's real enemy." Deirdre frowned slightly, showing just the tiniest bit of the frustration that was so typical in my own mother.

    "Even if you've heard but a little of that legendary rivalry," she said, "you ought to see that explaining these matters to Corwin would at the moment be all but impossible."

    "Perhaps. But perhaps it might be worthwhile to try and talk with Eric yourself."

    "Somehow I don't believe Eric to be willing to establish a dialogue right now. Do you have any idea why Bleys would attack Amber with Corwin right now, when he's got all these other plans as well?"

    "I'm sorry, but Bleys's motivations have always been beyond me."

    "But in the end he fell from the steps of the Kolvir, didn't you just say that?"

    "Yes, but he survived somehow. I don't know all the particulars."

    "Neither do I. It makes for a fasinating story, though." She sounded a bit apologetically, as if she would really like to believe me but needed some stronger evidence to convince her.

    "Just keep it in mind," I muttered. "That's all." And stay alive. Don't get caught.

    "Do you mind if I ask you something? Do you know why your mother in your Reality never joined the fight at Corwin's side?"

    "Well, I never asked her. We never really talked about it, but I think it might have had something to do with me."

    "She felt that the responsibilities of motherhood were more important," Deirdre immediately concluded, sounding as if she could understand that. I decided to leave her under this illusion, for the truth would have been much too difficult and painful to relay. Yet I had to give her at least an indication that my mother was in some way fundamentally different from her.

    "The responsibility, yes," I said, "and she has certain personal problems that you don't share with her." Deirdre nodded slowly.

    "Not everything is the same." Her expression told me that she would not press me on this issue, and I felt grateful for that. I had been right in trusting her with my story, I felt; she was so much calmer, more at ease with herself, and less suspicious than my mother that she had significantly less difficulty in going along with my tale, for the time being at least. As she turned her head a little, making the moonlight reflect in her eyes, I thought on how this Deirdre was in a way so much closer to that special image that Corwin had of her, the one that the other relatives in our Reality sometimes secretly derided him for behind his back. If this was the original version of Deirdre without the influence of the Curse, however, perhaps there was some truth to Corwin's vision after all. Maybe he was just able to see that part of her that nobody else could see, and perhaps she knew this and loved him for it. The thought suddenly brought tears to my eyes, and though I tried to blink them away, I'm sure that Deirdre sensed my mood a bit. Thankfully, she resumed our conversation and directed it back to more practical matters.

    "It's an interesting task that you have charged me with," Deirdre said. "To save Amber I have to find a way to reconcile Corwin with Eric, and as soon as possible too, isn't that right?"

    "More or less. You may be right in thinking that Eric is not the most likely to listen to reason, but he does have his own allies."

    "Julian. Gerard. Caine. What is their role in all of this?"

    "Like I said, Julian and Caine firmly support Eric, and Gerard is more of a neutral party. His main goal is keeping Amber safe." A thought suddenly occurred to me. "I don't know how things are over here," I added, "but in our Reality Benedict was also still alive."

    "Benedict lives?" She sounded surprised, yet as she thought it over she nodded. "Yes, he might still be alive. But why would he not answer our Trump calls?"

    "As far as I can remember he kept himself pretty well informed on matters in Amber, probably by means of Trump contacts with one of the others, but I don't know who it was. It might be a good idea to try and find out."

    "Benedict. Yes, he might be the only one who can bring about the change that's needed. You've given me a lot to think about. I'll see what I can do." She made a light snorting sound as she realised what she was saying. "I don't mean to sound over-naive, but I have the feeling that what you've been telling me seems very plausible. A lot of these things have a way of fitting into place that makes me want to trust you. It all fits so nicely..." I guessed it would.

    "Tell me," I said, "does Random have a son in this Reality?"

    "You mean Martin? Yes, although he's not mentioned all that often. I've never actually met him myself. It was quite a scandal at the time."

    "It may be very worthwhile to find him. In my Reality he was a key element in the redheads' schemes at the time." I didn't tell her how or why, though. Let her find that out if or when she ever got to speak to him.

    "Hmm," she mused, "as far as I know there's no Trump of him." I shrugged. That was her problem.

    "Talking about Trumps," I said, taking out hers, "do you mind if I keep this card of yours as a souvenir?" She frowned.

    "It's not that easy to get a replacement," she objected. "Dworkin was the only one who knew the secret of the cards."

    "There are quite a number of Trump artists where I come from. It's a skill that can be taught and learned like many others."

    "Are you sure?" she asked with some surprise. I smiled and nodded. She should have noticed that the cards in my deck had not been drawn by one single artist. "Alright," she said, "it's not as if I'm using it much anyway, and what you have told me is very important. Keep it." I gave her a grateful look.

    "I won't be able to use it, though. It won't work where I hope to be, someday soon."

    Deirdre gave me a little encouraging smile, as if to say that I would certainly find my way home again. She seemed to have few doubts about that part of my story at least. With a thoughtful expression she inquired after my intentions, and I told her that we would stay with the army till we were close enough to Rebma, a march of at least two more days. I hoped that the anonymity of the rank and file would keep us safe. With another smile she reassured me that she would not give us away. After she had said goodnight and good luck, I remained behind, watching her as she walked back to the camp, and marvelling at her inherent grace and inner happiness. The silver moonlight shimmered around her and momentarily transformed her into one of those Tir-na Nog'th phantoms, a vision of what might have been. Her fate contrasted so much with that of my mother. I sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening that Taureth had made sufficient progress with his research. One of the first things I was going to do when I got back was take care of the Curse once and for all. One way or the other.

    As she reached the edge of the copse, she turned back one last time and asked: "If you don't mind me asking, who is your father?"

    Fortunately, my face was hidden in the shadows of the trees, so she couldn't see me swallow. No, she would never have believed the truth. Trying to keep my voice light and unconcerned, I managed to say: "Vilcon Harolan. And my name is Dorian." The moonlight played upon her face, and I saw her smile thoughtfully, then her smile deepened and she turned away. Hmm, I wasn't sure, but I might just have given her an idea. Perhaps my counterpart in this Reality would be coming to life after all. With some mixed, but mostly happy feelings, I made my way back to my own companions.

    The next two days were remarkably uneventful, in the light of all that had happened to us recently. The army slowly wound its way towards mount Kolvir, occasionally hampered by some raids from Julian and his men. However, they inflicted only minor damage, for Bleys and Corwin were more than ready for them, and each time they managed to rally their defenses quickly enough. Still, some losses were sustained, and when the army finally reached their destination, there were but a few thousand men left. Just like there had been in our Reality. Eric had withdrawn his troops to the city and to the castle itself, so the army would have one final night of rest before the real battle would start.

    For us the circumstances were perfect for getting away and heading towards Rebma. There would undoubtedly be some guards on the stairs to content with, but we would cross that bridge when we came to it. Melusine did not seem overly concerned about this. I had told her and Fabian little of the specifics of my conversation with Deirdre, just the general reassurance that she would not betray us. However, now that we were leaving, I found that I needed to talk to her at least one more time. As we reached the spot on the beach where Faiella-Bionin led down into the sea, I took out the Trump she had so gracefully given to me and concentrated on her slightly different visage. She did not seem to be surprised that it was me, when she answered the call.

    "It's time for us to go," I said, giving her a view of our surroundings. She nodded.

    "I've spoken to Gerard," she said. "He was able to confirm a number of things concerning your story, like Bleys's attempted coup and Eric's counter-coup. He will try to negotiate between them. Corwin is quite mad at Gerard, though, because he refused to help us in our battle against Caine, so it may be very difficult." She sighed, but I felt some relief at the thought that she and Corwin might escape the course of history laid down in my Reality.

    "In any case," she said, resuming her characteristic smile, "I'd like to wish you the best of luck. You believe that Rebma should offer you a way of travelling on?"

    "There ought to be a gate there, yes."

    "I've never heard of it. There is a Pattern down there, but..."

    "No, that won't be it. Frankly though, I don't know where it is either. This inter-Reality thing is not really my mode of travel, but well..." I smiled a bit wistfully. There seemed to be so much that I wanted to say to her, and yet so little. She must have sensed it.

    "Luck," she said, one more time, and broke the contact. I continued staring at the card for a few seconds, before putting it away with a sigh. Luck. Yes, we would need it. We weren't home quite yet.

    Slowly the three of us started descending the great stairs of Rebma, walking into the cool green water that so miraculously allowed us to breathe. I'd been down here a few times before, or at least its version in our Reality, so I knew what to expect, and Melusine must have had similar kinds of experiences, for she moved down the stairs with a purposeful stride. Even Fabian did not seem really surprised, as if he too had visited Rebma at least once before. Perhaps in his dreams.

    Despite the imminent siege on land, there were but a few guards at the gate to Rebma. I had never entirely understood the relation between the two cities, but I felt that it went beyond mere reflection; Rebma was too solid and real for that. I wondered if there was anyone who really knew. Perhaps Llewella would. Anyway, the guards, though few, halted us at the gates and demanded a password before they would let us through. With only a mild feeling of apprehension I glanced at Melusine, who frowned and uttered a short phrase in slightly archaic Thari. The captain nodded once, gestured with his trident, and the gates swung slowly open. As we entered the city, I cast an inquiring look at her.

    "I've occasionaly taken care of some business for Rebma," she confessed after a moment's hesitation. "This is a general password that I'd learned. I had hoped that it would suffice here as well."

    "Thing's are quite similar over here," I said, recalling Martin's strong ties with Rebma. It was not that strange that Melusine had spent some time there too.

    "Quite," she said. "I can't help but wonder whether there's also another version of me around here. I don't really know."

    "Maybe not." I thought of my own case. Then I wondered when she had actually been born back in our Reality. Had it been around this time, or only later, after Eric's death, when Flora had found herself in need of a secret ally?

    "Maybe not," Melusine echoed with a sigh. "As far as I've gathered my mother overpowered the Flora of this Reality in order to take her place." Her calm tone unnerved me a little. She made it sound as if the Amberites here were but Shadow people, and they just weren't. The thought of doing away with my own potential counterpart was simply appalling to me, and the casual manner in which Melusine discussed such matters hinted at a ruthlessness in both her and her mother that I found difficult to deal with. But then most of us will at times appear to be ruthless; it's just that we set our limits differently.

    In our clothes we would normally have drawn some attention in Rebma, for most of the local people habitually only wore a pair of scaled trunks and nothing else. However, since it was already quite late at night, there were relatively few people about, and they paid us no mind. The unintentionally seductive appearance of the local women made me become sharply aware of the absence of the Curse, though, for I realised I had come to take the current situation a bit for granted. No doubt It would reassert itself as soon as we set foot in our own Reality again. Sigh. I had been a lot more relaxed lately.

    Melusine directed the three of us purposefully through the greenishly dark underwater streets, till we reached a sort of stable where she obtained three mounts for us of a breed of very large seahorses that were used in much the same fashion as regular steeds on land. Fabian and I didn't ask her any questions; she was the one who knew where to find the Nexus gate and how to open it. We were in her hands. Silently, we rode out of the city towards the deep seas, a spell keeping us safe from the normal dangers of travelling along the ocean floor. After a trip of about half an hour we came to our apparent destination: a huge dark chasm that looked quite forbidding. Melusine did not hesitate, however, but led her mount straight down into it the dark, and we had no choice but to follow her. I just hoped that she knew what she was doing. This would just about be the worst time to get into more trouble.

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