Chapter 012: Perspective

 

"You ask in uncertain voice

What you should do

As if there were a choice

But to carry on

Miming the song

And hope that it will work out right"

 

     Horrified and speechless I sat there. If only my Mother had been someone else. If only my Father had never told me about my heritage. If only, if only, if only... There's not much point in thoughts like these, I know, but when I get caught up in them I really get caught up in them. They're like a maelstrom dragging me deeper and deeper down.

     What kind of people would murder an innocent unborn child? No, not people: monsters, cold unfeeling monsters. And to think that it was a relative who had done this; Random's remark had made that quite clear! And he had said this time... Oh Unicorn, did he mean that this had happened more than once? I was afraid to ask, afraid of the answer I would probably get.

     Meanwhile Adrian's act had signalled our official business was at an end. Most people started talking, forming little groups of trusted (or should I say least distrusted) relatives to discuss and gossip. A lot of them also followed Adrian's example and soon everybody was queuing to reach Random and Vialle.

     Not me. I couldn't bring myself to it. Seeing that nobody was paying much attention to me I decided to slip away quietly. I felt in no mood to talk to anybody at that moment; the quiet of my personal bedroom seemed a lot more agreeable to me. Actually, any place other than here seemed a lot more agreeable.

     But I was wrong to think I would be able to slip away unnoticed: Diana stopped me just before I left the room, saying that she wanted to talk. Cursing myself for my self-centred attitude I led her to a quiet spot where we couldn't be overheard by anyone. I should have known better than to leave her to her own devices. She was probably as shocked as I was, if not more. Barely a day in Amber and already she had to face the worst imaginable aspect of the Family.

     I pushed away my own feelings for a moment. I had promised Caine that I would take care of her, but I suddenly also realised that I really cared for her. More than I had realised up to now. It was that same special feeling I had for only a few other people: my Father, Wylde, Suzanne. People I think I would try to protect with my life, if need be. I just wished I could have spared her this afternoon's events.

     Diana indeed did look as shaken as I felt, but she made an effort to bring out her smile for me nevertheless.

     "I hadn't expected anything like this," she said in a little voice. "The Trial was bad, but that business with Vialle, that was the worst. I know you warned me about my Family, but I was too excited at the prospect of finally meeting them. I should have payed more heed to what you were saying, I realise that now."

     "Well, I don't know if it's any consolation, but all of this came as an enormous shock for me too. I guess I should have payed more heed to my own words as well."

     "I just can't understand how anybody could do something like that," she sighed. She looked up at me with an imploring look in her eye. "But surely they're not all that bad, aren't they? I mean, Uncle Bleys has been really nice, hasn't he?"

     I shook my head and sighed. "That's the real problem. You see, everybody seems very nice, but when it comes down to it you just can't tell who is for real and who is pretending. That's Amber for you: you never can tell who you're friends are."

     She looked dismayed for a moment, then veered up with a new-found determination. "Well, if they're not I'll just run them through with my sword!"

     I couldn't suppress a rueful smile. "I can do it too," she asserted a little indignantly. "I'm quite capable with a sword. Uncle Caine did teach me something!"

     "Shh! Don't mention that name here!"

     Diana shrank back startled by my sudden outburst at her slip of the tongue. I quickly glanced around but fortunately I saw nobody near us.

     "I'm sorry," I continued. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh. And you misunderstand me: I don't doubt your capabilities as a swordswoman. It's just that killing a relative is far from the wisest way of resolving such things. I mean, take Uncle Julian for instance. As you noticed he was totally on Murlas' side in the Trial."

     "He was?" Diana looked a bit puzzled. "Now you mention it, he did seem very lenient to me." I sighed; it was not as if Julian had been that subtle.

     "Anyway," I said, "my point was that even he was glad the victim had at least not been a relative. As you've seen today killing a Shadow person is but a minor offence; murdering a relative, however, is serious business. Don't think you'll get away with as light a punishment as Murlas got if you were to run through any of our uncles, aunts or cousins, no matter how bad they really are."

     "It's all so very difficult," she said and sighed once again. "But that business with Vialle's child is really foul. I just can't comprehend it."

     "Perhaps you should have a chat with her," I suggested. "See how she feels about it, how she copes with it." I recalled my own conversations with the Queen; she was one of the wisest people I knew, in the best possible sense of the word.

     Diana thought about it for a little while, then smiled and nodded. "Yes, I think that's a good idea. Will you come with me?"

     I considered it briefly, but the thought of again having to face the whole Family rather daunted me. So I said I wanted some time to rest and gather my wits before dinner, which Diana accepted. As I headed for my chambers I didn't feel very relieved, though. I already missed Diana's company.

     The lonely hours before dinner didn't provide me with any new insights. I tried to find some distraction in music, but I found no way to really put my heart in it. Perhaps deep down I was too afraid to really do so.

     I had some doubts about attending dinner, but in the end I decided to carry on, hoping a solution to my problem of dealing with the Family would naturally present itself.

     I dressed up and was about to leave when a servant came round with a message from Random, saying that he wanted a word with me in his study immediately after dinner. Good, I still needed to talk to him about my personal problems.

     I guess that none of my relatives had any pressing business to take care of, for everyone was present at dinner. There seemed to be a general feeling in the air that a lot of things were happening at the moment with Amber as a sort of nexus of it all. It was a bit like a play where all the actors are afraid to leave the stage because they might miss some crucial information; everybody milling about on stage talking and playing subtle games to find out what the others knew. I felt that we were still somewhere in the first act and a lot of things were in the lap of the gods. I would like to have a word with the writer, though, and get him to reassess my part in all of this. And had he intended this to be a comedy or a tragedy? 

     I realised I did have some unsettled business myself. I walked up to Algo and told him about my decision not to act as his second in the upcoming duel. He was very disappointed although I tried to explain my reasons to him. Apparently he had really counted on me to say yes, for he already had decided on the time and place of the duel, which he was about to inform Adrian of. He grumbled a bit about having to find another second on such short notice, but I knew he would find someone.

     Later everyone was presented with a small card with Algo's iridescent harp logo and an invitation in stylish golden print. He invited us all to witness his duel with Adrian the next day at noon in Telgan. He would transport us all there by means of his Trump, since it seemed that everyone had one of him now. I had picked up a rumour that Dworkin had drawn a new Trump of Algo and had decided to distribute copies to every available relative. He should have copied some other Trumps while he was at it, as well as perhaps drawing some of the new relatives that had just surfaced like Diana and Boadice. But I guess that's Dworkin for you...

     During dinner I was seated in between Fiona and Diana. Neither of them was in a very talkative mood, though, which suited me fine. I ate and listened to the conversations round the table. All trivial matters and I didn't feel a need to join in. Beside that I did feel a little upset by the trivialities being discussed when the events of this afternoon were still fresh in everyone's memories. Then again most of the others might not know how to deal with all of that themselves.

     After dinner I headed to Random's study, only to find that I wasn't the only one he wanted to see. Our whole little group of troubleshooters was headed that way, along with Martin and the two newcomers Diana and Boadice. It made me think back to the begining of our adventures, when most of us didn't yet know each other and cooperation was high on our list. Things sure were different now. Everybody seemed to be pursuing things of their own and it couldn't be denied that there was a certain amount of tension between some of us. I'm afraid we weren't anything else but just a typical group of Amberites, true to our blood in all respects as Murlas had only recently shown. The only consolation was that there also were some that I could call friends in this group.

     When we entered the study Random was talking with Fiona. Random beckoned us to close the door, so apparently Aunt Fi was also involved in this meeting. I guessed it would be about the continuation of our quest as that was also Murlas' punishment, which I figured they had already decided beforehand. I sincerely hoped Random wouldn't force us to work together on this once again, for although Murlas might have shown regret at his brutal actions I wasn't about to trust him until he really proved to me that he had changed his ways. Also I didn't think it wise to travel with Alexander while that business with Wylde and Thena was still unsettled. Fortunately both of them were absent at the moment...

     We waited a few minutes in silence for Random and Fiona to finish their conversation. Finally Random turned to us.

     "Well," he said, "thank you all for coming. As I hope all of you know by now, we're in some serious trouble. There's some kind of threat, not only to Amber and the Family, but to our whole reality. At the moment we still don't know all there is to know about this threat but we're working on it.

     Now, I sent some of you on a mission a little while back when all this trouble first started and I already got some reports on what you have done and the things you found out. First of all, though, I want to know whether anyone still has something to tell that's relevant to the problem of the Black Unicorn."

     There was a moment of silence before Alexander spoke up: "I don't know whether Benedict already told you this, but I once again had an encounter with those pink golems, this time in Kashfa."

     "No, he hasn't told me yet," Random said frowning. "What happened?"

     "Well, there was this sorceror in a tower in Kashfa who had a bunch of these golems as bodyguards."

     "And...?"

     "Not much else really. We stormed the tower, defeated those golems and I think Jasra finally managed to take out the sorceror himself. I'm not sure, though, for it wasn't over yet when we left."

     "We? Who's we? And what else did you find out?"

     Alex shifted a little uncomfortably. "I'd rather not say in public, sir. It's a rather delicate matter. Perhaps it can be discussed in private?"

     "Nonsense! Spit it out! Nothing's too delicate as far as the safety of Amber is concerned, and if I had wanted to talk to you privately I wouldn't have invited you all together, would I?"

     Alex clearly didn't feel happy about it, but except for stubbornly refusing there was no way to avoid answering. "Besides Jasra and me, the King of Kashfa and Dalt were also involved. I had contacted Benedict about the situation and he agreed that it might provide an opportunity for aquiring some extra information."

     "So Rinaldo was involved in this too? Hmm, I think I shall have a word with him soon. But what else did you discover? Who was that sorceror? How did he get those golems? And what about Dalt's role in the attack on Arden? Did you learn anything new about that?"

     "No, I didn't have enough time, but I plan to return to Kashfa soon to see whether I can learn the answers to those questions."

     Random made no attempts to hide his disappointment. "You should have gathered more information while you were there. Time is of the essence here. After all, you might return to Kashfa only to find Dalt is no longer there. What then? You should have gotten more out of him when you had the chance."

     An awkward silence fell across the room while Random considered his next point on the agenda. I hadn't known that Rinaldo was the King of Kashfa. It's one of those Shadows bordering on the Golden Circle. I believe I passed through it once while shifting away from Amber; nice place, beautiful countryside. I wondered how Alex had got involved in that adventure there. I mean, from what Adrian had told me I couldn't picture him and Dalt working together very well. Maybe Rinaldo had smoothed things out in that regard, but I couldn't imagine myself working together with the man that had tried to kill me. Then again I really didn't know Alexander all that well. He might feel different about such things.

     Random resumed the meeting by asking me whether I had already told the others about meeting Cerwen. I said that I hadn't, since I assumed that he would like to tell them himself. He proceeded to do so.

     "If we are to believe this Cerwen," he said, "then there is at least one person in this Family involved in this. At this moment there's no way to say who it might be, and I don't want to do any speculating on the subject.

     "Another thing that seems important to me is this Black Trump that some of you found. It might be the same Trump that Martin had acquired in Angel City, but it might also be a different one. Fiona will spend some time examining it, as was agreed at the Trial.

     "All in all there's still a lot we don't know, although we keep making progress. You will all have to help once again. That lead on - what were their names again? - Fox and Lisa looks very promising to me. Most of all I want you to come up with some contacts and useful names and identities."

     "Fiona has told me that the situation in the Courts of Chaos is also a bit precarious at the moment. I have considered it, but I think it will be best to send the ambassadors all the same. However, Adrian and anyone else who decides to go as well: be very careful, don't take any unnecessary risks and certainly don't go off on any schemes of your own while you're there.

     "I believe Fiona had something she wanted to tell you. Fi?"

     Fiona rose from her seat and faced us all. "Some time ago I was asked by some of you to investigate the disappearance of Vincent. I'm glad to say that Vincent has been freed from his captivity. However, you will have to continue for some time without his help. He's alive and reasonably well, but that's all I can say about him. One point of reassurance: I don't think that any of you are in personal danger as far as that business with Vincent is concerned."

     I was very glad to hear that. I admit that Vincent hadn't been very high on my list of things that needed further looking into, but that was why I had asked Aunt Fiona to do it for me. I had worried about him, though, and the fact that he was alive and free relieved my mind from that worries. I did have one further question about Fiona's assertion that we had nothing to fear from that side, but I saved that for my private conversation with her.

     Suddenly Algo spoke up: "Listen, it's all very well, but count me out of that information gathering business. I'm not going to travel around while there's still people trying to kill me, you know. I mean, someone poisoned me right here in Amber and they still haven't caught the assassin. No, first I'm going to settle my unfinished business here" - a meaningful glance at Adrian - "and then I'm going home to Telgan and I'm going to stay there until I'm out of danger."

     I couldn't suppress a smile when I saw Random's expression. For once he seemed totally at loss for words, his mouth silently opening and closing a few times while he was deciding whether he should get mad at Algo or not. Finally he took Algo's arm and led him to the other side of the room, where they talked privately for a few minutes. It was no use: Algo just wouldn't change his mind, so in the end Random just consented to his plan.

     "Algo has got a point," he said when they had rejoined the group. "That attempt on his life is also a piece of unfinished business that needs looking into. Personally I don't relish the idea of assassins slipping in and out of Amber without being noticed either."

     "Did someone try to kill Algo?" Murlas asked innocently. I quickly explained to him and Boadice what had happened. Algo muttered something about having Violet to thank for his life. My curiosity got the better of me and I asked him who this Violet was.

     "Oh, she just showed up some time ago while I was in Telgan. Very strange, since nobody's supposed to be able to enter there like she did, but never mind that. She's got the most horrible taste and she decided to repaint my rooms in the most clashing colours possible. She also smokes those horrible small cigars, but aside from that she's a very interesting person, I'd even say fascinating. It was her powers that saved me from that poison. Beside that I really don't know that much about her, but it seems that Benedict does."

     "Yes," Alexander interjected, "I asked Benedict about her and hearing me mentioning her name made him smile. He said that you would find out for yourself who she is pretty soon."

     The thought of Uncle Benedict smiling made me smile. At least this Violet was no cause of alarm to Algo or to any of us.

     "Alright people," Random said, "let's get back to the business at hand. You, as the younger generation, are in a way freer than us; you're not bound up in all kinds of duties. This makes you the perfect agents or spies or scouts or whatever you want to call it. As you see we've got a couple of leads to follow, like for instance that Fox and Lisa connection."

     "I don't know," said Murlas. "When we were following the trail from Angel City, instead of the people we were looking for we found Azrain. I know I promised that I would strive to redeem myself, but I don't want to go travelling through Shadow again without being certain that he has been dealt with."

     "We have Azrain in custody," Random replied, "and there's no way he's going to escape; I think that you can consider him dealt with for all practical purposes. And the fact that you ran into him while following those other two might just been coincedence. As yet we don't have any indication that Azrain might be involved in this whole Black Unicorn business too. However, you can be sure that we will do our best to determine his role in the bigger scheme."

     "Be careful with him," Murlas said with some real concern showing through in his otherwise cultured and controlled voice. "Don't ever underestimate his abilities."

     "Of course we won't. Now, I would like to know from each of you what you think would be a good lead for you to follow."

     Alexander said he wanted to continue his business in Kashfa, but he insisted that he still needed to talk privately with Random on that subject.

     Murlas didn't have any real preferences, but he mentioneds that he would like to have the Black Trump back after Fiona had examined it, since it still was a possible link with his Father.

     Boadice expressed a real willingness to help, although she wanted some time to draw a few Trumps. I was very surprised, since I didn't know up till then that she also had that skill. Boa thought that the identity of Algo' assassins might be something for her to look into.

     Adrian's course was unchanged, he would travel to the Courts. Again he mentioned a desire to meet Merlin, saying that he might find a real Brother in him. Alexander's expression remained neutral.

     I was up next, and I hesitated a little. Finally I said to Random that there was a certain personal matter I wanted to talk about first, but privately. He nodded.

     Diana said that she wanted to help me on my personal quest; after all she knew what it was all about. That was, if Random could agree with that. Again he nodded, this time with an air of amused resignation.

     Algo had already expressed his feelings quite clearly, so Martin was the last in line. He said he wanted to go after Fox and Lisa. I felt that he might be suspecting something about them being involved in that atomic explosion that destroyed most of his hang-out Shadow. He might be right too...

     Having heard from all of us Random first had a few minutes of private discussion with Alexander, and then it was my turn. No sense in beating round the bush, so I told him the whole story of Suzanne. In the course of my story Random's fown deepened. When I had finished he said: "I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. It sounds like it could be very dangerous, like there's a lot more to it than you've discovered so far. It has got to be bigger: I can't think of anyone who might hold a grudge against you." I could only agree.

     "Experience has taught me," he continued, "that things like this, that might seem small, can turn out to be very important. You never know, though, it could all be something that was set up only in order to mislead you."

     "I know, you might be right" I replied. "But honestly I just don't want to take the risk. I admit that it is a personal thing, but I also think that the possibility that it might be some relative who's behind all this makes it a Family matter. And even if this was all planned as one big misdirection I feel that I at least have to try."

     "Okay, it will be worthwhile to look into it at least a little further."

     I was very relieved. I had dreaded that he would have ordered me to pursue a totally different course. Then I would have had to face the dilemma of either following his orders or following my own wishes. However, glad as I may be at the moment, I did realise that this dilemma had only been postponed. There would come a time that I would have to make that difficult choice between duty and personal interest, and I didn't know yet how I would choose.

     "Decision time, people," said Random. "Adrian, your role in the ambassadors' party is a relative minor one, since you're not an official ambassador yourself. However, that leaves you freer than the others to do some investigating. But you know the score: no unnecessary risks.

     "Dorian and Diana, you will continue with that piece of personal business. Algo will stay in the safety of his own Shadow until that assassin has been found. Alexander, you will also go on with your previous line of investigation.

     "It seems to me, though, that it would be a good idea to have someone else accompany Adrian to the Courts. Corwin, Bleys and Benedict will probably be totally tied down in official business and Adrian will need someone he can turn to for assistance. Boadice, what do you think of a trip to the other side?"

     "Oh, I think it would be fascinating," she answered with a smile. I saw that Adrian was also smiling; apparently he quite liked the idea of having Boadice as his companion.

     "Good, good," Random continued. "Now, Murlas, perhaps it is best if you were to join Martin in his search for Fox and Lisa. That is, if you both agree with that." They both nodded.

     "Alright. One final point, though, and that applies to each of you: keep in touch. You're only meant to investigate, to scout the territory as it were, not to immediately act on what you find. As soon as you run into any major resistance, call home and get help. Of course you shouldn't contact us just for every trifle. We, that is us, the elder generation, are each bound to be busy with our own things and we can't always be interrupted. Perhaps it is better if you first were to try contacting your peers before contacting any of us."

     "I don't want to be the one who has to bring this up each and every time," I said, "but in that case we still need to have some Trumps. My own deck is far from complete and Diana hasn't got any Trumps, but my own."

     "That is a problem," he sighed. "If only Dworkin was a little more consistent when he decides to make some new Trumps; it seems that everyone has Algo's Trump now. There aren't any Trump decks left at the moment, though."

     "What about those two decks I saw in the library?" Boadice interrupted.

     Random looked very surprised and immediately summoned a servant to bring him those decks. A few minutes later they were on his desk. While Boadice studied them curiously, Random rummaged around in a few drawers and finally produced a couple of Trumps of people that were not in the standard deck. The only relatives that seemed to be missing were Dworkin - why had he never drawn one of himself? - Diana, Boadice, Dalt and Sand.

     I wondered about that Trump of Sand that was hidden in my deck. Perhaps I should try to contact her one of these days and see whether I could learn anything else from her. However, now that I was back in Amber it might be a good idea to learn something of her role in the Family history first. I still didn't know the reason why I had never heard of her before. And there was still that favour that I had promised I'd do for her concerning that - what was her name? - Aradia. Sand had seemed quite sure that I would meet this Aradia, but I still hadn't run into her...or had I?

     Meanwhile the others were discussing the distribution of the Trumps. Random thought that with so many Trump artists currently present it wouldn't hurt to copy all the Trumps and get a complete and updated deck for everyone. He discussed it with Fiona and they came to the conclusion that it would be a matter of two days to accomplish this. Fiona would draw Boadice's Trump, who didn't want to do her own, and Fi said that her Brother would be interested in doing Diana's.

     I frowned a little at hearing this; I just didn't like Uncle Bleys' excessive interest in Diana. However, I guess that this had to be done, otherwise there would be no Trump of Diana. At least I had warned her about him. I just hoped she would remember that warning.

     Random said that he himself would draw Alexander's Trump. I was a bit surprised. It seems that everyone turns out to be a Trump artist nowadays.

     Finally Adrian asked about the possibilities for Trump contact between Amber and the Courts. Random said that it wasn't always reliable because of the huge fluctuations in timeflow between here and there. At Boa's request he elaborated a bit on the Courts, telling us that there were about thirty Major Court Families with possible claims to the Throne, along with over a hundred Minor Families. He warned Adrian and Boa that the Chaosians were very keen on protocol. I sighed. That did certainly spell disaster for Adrian. He's a very nice guy, but a bit over-enthusiastic at times; if he didn't learn to curb his enthusiasm a little trouble would surely come.

     After that the meeting broke up. All of us would leave three days hence, when all the Trump drawing and copying was finished. And there was also that duel tomorrow afternoon; Random hinted that he thought that most of the Family would be present. I was curious as to what kind of duel it would be, certainly when I heard Algo say that he had found another second in Droppa MaPantz, the Court Jester. Hmm, I had the feeling it would prove to be quite a show...

     I managed to reach Aunt Fiona before she left and said that Diana and I wanted a word with her. She was quite agreeable and clearly a lot more rested and relaxed than before or during the Trial. We secluded ourselves in a sitting-room nearby and I started telling her about my new-found abilities (being able to see that Diana was a relative, noticing how the timeflow in that Shadow had been tampered with, etc.).

     "I wanted to ask you, though," I said, "whether Diana is really ready to walk the Pattern or not. I'm not totally sure about it; these things are still very new to me. And since you assisted me when I walked It the first time..."

     "Hmm, it's very interesting that you're developing those abilities. I wish things weren't so busy at the moment, for I would like to spend some time and do some experiments to see what you can and what you can't do. But that will have to wait.

     "As for Diana, I'm afraid that I don't have any time to spare to guide her on her first Patternwalk. Maybe I can find someone else who has and who's willing to help."

     "I do think that she should essay it very soon, at least before we go off into Shadow again. Having a Trump deck will make her less dependent, but she needs Pattern if she is to stand on her own."

     "Yes, I agree. I will see what I can do," she said with a slight frown. Then her face cleared and she smile a bit wickedly at me. "So, what did you think of our little show today?"

     Oh no! Not now! During the evening I had somehow managed to push away my after Trial depression, and now Fiona was dragging it all back up to the light again. I turned my face away and shrugged, saying: "Oh, the Trial? Ah, well..."

     "Yes," she said, "I had noticed that you were somewhat disappointed by it all. I have to say that your question on the matter of honour wasn't all that wrong in itself, it's just that in the past we discussed it continually without ever reaching an agreement. However, a kind of unspoken compromise finally developed out of the whole discussion, a compromise that is more or less honoured by everyone. So you're never in danger of someone plunging a knife into your chest under the pretense of honour."

     She smiled kindly as she said this and I managed a wan smile in return. The ease with which she had read my mind was somewhat unnerving.

     "Someone should have told us all of this a little bit sooner," I said. "I mean, are we as newcomers just supposed to know all of this?"

     "I guess we Amberites just aren't that good at being parents," she replied. "But then we didn't have a very good role-model in Oberon. We have to learn as much as you do.

     "What you have to keep in mind is that most of us have seen quite a lot of years passing by and there's a kind of cynicism that comes with that certain kind of age. One way or the other it colours most of our thinking."

     I shrugged again as if to say that it wouldn't happen to me. Then I quickly switched the subject. "About Vincent: I'm glad to hear that he is safe, but I'm still a bit worried about my own safety. I don't know whether I already told you this, but after Murlas had tried to contact Vincent and found that Black Cloud instead, I received a Trump contact myself. When I opened up, however, I saw that Black Cloud rushing towards me. I managed to block it before contact could fully be established, but I'm still worried about that."

     "When did this happen? Shortly after another Trump contact?"

     "Well, yes, I guess so. We were in a very fast timeflow Shadow at the time."

     "Then I think you have nothing to worry about. My guess is that it was just a kind of Trump-rebound, or Trump-echo if you like. It's a kind of natural phenomenon that often happens when there's a big time differential between Shadows. I wouldn't worry about that Black Cloud anymore; that's been taken care of."

     With that final reassurance she left. It was already quite late, so Diana and I both decided to seek the comfort of our own bedrooms. We arranged to meet before travelling off to Telgan to see the duel. My night was surprisingly devoid of dreams and quite restful.

     The next morning I found myself with too much time on my hands. For a moment I considered burying myself in the library trying to find some information on Sand, but no, I just didn't feel like it; I would put that off till tomorrow.

     Instead I went to look for Uncle Jaro. He had a couple of hours of guard-duty that morning, but he appreciated my company and I didn't really mind where we were as long as we had a chance to talk. His duty proved to be guarding the cell where Azrain was being held. I worried a bit at the mention of that name, recalling Murlas' warnings, but Jaro assured me that it was all quite safe. There were in fact so many magical restraints placed on that cell that a life guard wasn't really necesarry.

     "The only reason I'm here," he said, "is to see that nobody accidentally disturbs all that magic stuff. I guess one of your new cousins might just wander this way..." He winked at me. "I've heard that they're rather good-looking. What do you say? Is one of them to your liking?"

     I blushed a bit. "Yes," I replied, "I guess they're both pretty. But it isn't right, is it? I mean, they're my relatives!"

     "Oh," he said and shrugged, "that shouldn't be that much of a problem, should it?"

     I didn't comment on it any further, but privately I wondered about it. Diana was very pretty and I liked her a lot. I felt that she liked me too, but to what extent? And how far did my own feelings go? It was rather easy to keep her company for the sake of the promise I had made to Uncle Caine, but wasn't there something growing underneath, some feelings beyond the call of duty? Pondering these questions only helped to confuse me even more. However, I realised I had to face them sooner or later and come up with some suitable answers. Especially now Diana and I would continue my search for Suzanne together.

     Ah, Suzanne, there was another part of the problem. Somewhat guiltily I realised that I was thinking of her less and less. Even the whole case of her disappearance seemed to have taken on a whole new meaning for me. I was now more focused on the relative or relatives who had taken her and why they had done this, than on Suzanne herself. It was wrong, I know, but her absence and Diana's presence (plus my own impotence in finding her) had somehow wrought this change in me. Life can be so complicated...

     I suddenly heard a mental miaow and within a second the soft-pawed shape of Wylde had jumped onto my lap, immediately settling down to sleep. I smiled and started stroking her. That at least was one relationship I could be sure of.

     For a moment Uncle Jaro tensed when Wylde appeared, but as soon as he realised who it was he relaxed again. After a while our conversation turned to combat. I told him all about our encounter with the pink golems, a tale he appreciated very much. This talk of battle stirred a question in me I had been wondering about for some time.

     "Uncle," I said, "there's something about that attack on Arden I don't really understand. Why attack Arden? I mean, if their goal was an attack on Amber, wouldn't it have been wiser to go round Arden? If I recall correctly that's what Uncle Corwin and Uncle Bleys did when they tried to reach Amber in time to stop Eric from crowning himself King."

     "Yes, that's right. Quite a fight, that was. I was there, you know. I remember we had to use nets and blunted arrows to capture Prince Corwin. But yes, you are right, they didn't go through Arden. They must have thought it to be the better choice. Don't forget they were in a hurry to stop Prince Eric; they must have figured that the way through Arden and the inevitable confrontation with Prince Julian's forces there would take too much time. Not that they didn't have to fight Julian by going round him, though.

     "I think that the recent attack is a different matter. From what I have heard the assualt force was really very small. It seems to me that it was more a test than a real attack; they wanted to see how fast we would react and who of the Princes would join the battle. Most importantly, would Prince Benedict lead the troops or someone else?"

     His assumptions seemed pretty sound to me. That someone else who could have led the forces was of course Uncle Julian; after all it was his territory. I could see that Random's decision to send Benedict to Arden was in some way an insult to Julian, a sign that he wasn't thought to be competent enough to fend off such an attack. Perhaps discrediting Julian had been part of the attackers' plans. Perhaps that was also a reason why they had focused their attack on Arden. Perhaps this line of thought was going a bit too far. Then again, perhaps not...

     "You see," Jaro continued, "that's why everybody is still so jumpy. The King and most of the Princes and Princesses, I mean. They all think that it was just a test and they realise the real attack is still to come."

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