Chapter 016: A Debt To Pay

"And the comet spreads its tail across the sky

But it nowhere near defines the course it flies

Nor does it find its own direction"

"The Comet, The Course, The Tail" - Peter Hammill

     Someone was watching me. I didn't like it. Maybe Wylde's assurance that my voyeur didn't necessarily mean me harm should put me a little more at ease, but it didn't. So much was happening to me and to the ones that I loved that I didn't think I would ever feel truly at ease again. Perhaps this is what they really mean when they talk of the loss of innocence.

     I didn't like it one bit. So I'd better try and find out who it was that had this keen interest in my humble person. But it was no use (as I should have guessed): as soon as I had my Pattern lens up and started looking for the watcher from beyond, he quickly vanished. The only thing I learned from the effort was that Wylde's feelings had been right. The stranger was indeed musing on the role he was going to take. Or the one she was going to take, for I couldn't be sure of the gender of my voyeur. At other times I might have relished the thought of a woman spying on me. Not now. I had other things on my mind.

     A quick Shadow run brought me back to the place where I had left the horses. As soon as I had them both by the reins I Trumped back to Amber. The guards and servants there were a bit surprised at the sight of two horses standing there in the main hall. One would think that they would have become used to things like that by now. While one of the servants took the horses to the stables (much to the joy and amazement of the stable-keeper, I think) I went up to Random's study. I wanted to see whether he had got any news that I was supposed to hear.

     I knocked and entered to find Random slumped in his chair with his feet resting on his desk. The classical pose for a King of Amber, I suppose. When he saw that it was me, though, he quickly straightened himself in his chair.

     "Dorian," he said, "quite a surprise to see you here. I thought you would be busy looking for your son. Diana told me everything."

     "Well, I just returned from Earth and I'm only stopping by to see whether there's anything I should know about before I really set off."

     "There's not much I can tell you that you don't know already."

     "How about that situation with Murlas?"

     "No real news there. I sent a Trump to him which should take him to a spot near the rift, and Adrian, Rhiane and Boadice would go to help him, along with a few people from the Courts. There has been no word as yet as to how they fared, though."

     I noticed that there was a certain edge in Random's voice. He seemed tired and troubled, and it looked to me as if he really didn't want to talk at the moment. So I didn't press him any more. I said goodbye and went up to my room. I needed a change of clothes and a moment to think on how I was going to find my son. Of course I could always start off into Shadow in the hope that I would eventually find him that way, but I wasn't altogether sure that it would work. When I had done this before I had always known whom or what I was looking for, whereas I now knew nothing but for the fact that it was my son that I was looking for. I doubted whether this would be enough.

     By the time I had finished packing I felt certain that I needed some expert advice on the subject. Fortunately Fiona was available when I Trumped her. She even seemed to be in Amber.

     "Aunt Fiona," I asked her, "how do you find someone whom you have never met before?"

     "Hmm, that's rather difficult I fear. The most obvious solution would be to try to draw a Trump of the person in question, based only on the few things you know about him. Just like the way Brand drew Martin's Trump without ever having met him."

     "I don't think that's an option."

     "No, I guess not. You don't know how how to draw Trumps, do you? Well, you need something of a link between you and the person you're looking for. I presume that it's your son you are after?"

     "Yes, that's right." Damn, it's unnerving, the way she does that!

     "In that case the blood-tie might be a sufficient link to follow."

     "Do you think that concentrating on it while Hellriding might be enough to lead me to him?"

     "Hmm, yes, it can be done. I think that you could do it." She smiled. Again I felt thankful. For a moment I wondered whether perhaps I should have mentioned Aunt Fiona to Suze as one of my friends. It's just that I feel that being friends means that there's some sort of equality between you, and that just isn't the case with Fiona and me. I don't know exactly how to characterize our relationship. Let's just say that I trusted her more in personal matters than most of my other Elders.

     "Thank you for your counsel, Auntie."

     "You're welcome. Good luck."

     I put her Trump away, checked the room one final time in case I had forgotten anything and then headed for Diana's chambers. I hesitated for a moment when I came to her door. I was sincerely doubting the wisdom of taking her with me again, but at the same time I knew I would miss her if she wasn't with me. As to whether she could be of any real help I wasn't altogether sure, but one never knows. However, she was more or less under my protection, or at least that was how I felt about it, and it wouldn't do to lead her into all kinds of trouble. No, I'd better leave her here in Amber.

     My knocking wasn't answered, so I tried her Trump. This time she answered. I could see that she was somewhere in a corridor on the second floor of the castle. She looked happy to see me.

     "Oh Dorian," she exclaimed, "how are you? Is everything alright?"

     "Yes, I'm fine. I've brought Suze back to Earth, and I'm about to start searching for my son."

     "Oh..." She hesitated. An awkward silence ensued. Then we both started talking simultaneously.

     "I don't know..." I began.

     "Maybe..." she interjected.

     We both stopped and smiled sheepishly at each other. "Ladies first," I said.

     "Well, I just wanted to say that I might like to come with you. To help you, I mean. That is, if you want me..."

     In but a moment my firm resolve not to take her with me was washed away by her eager, innocent expression. How could I ever refuse her anything?

     "Alright, gather your equipment. I want to leave as soon as possible."

     Her expression shifted through happiness to a kind of concerned suspicion. "How are we travelling?" she asked with a frown. "By horse?"

     "Yes." I smiled, for I now understood what she was worried about.

     "What about our horses? Are they safe?"

     "Yes, they're perfectly alright. I brought them back with me."

     "Oh... Well, that's alright then." She was smiling again. "I'll be with you in a minute."

     I strolled back to my chambers. One of Diana's minutes would probably prove to be roughly half an hour in Amber time. As I glanced idly round the room an idea suddenly hit me. There was something that I had been meaning to do for some time now, but since I wanted to be alone while doing it I hadn't had the chance until now. I sat down and pulled out my Trumps again. There wouldn't be enough time to do any sort of extensive spread, so just a simple cross would have to do. I shuffled the deck for a minute or two and then laid out six cards with my eyes closed. The latter is not really necessary, but I always figure it's kind of lucky to see the spread as a whole before looking at all the cards individually.

     As I opened my eyes they were immediately drawn to two cards, the first and the last. In the first position, representing my present situation, was my Mother's card. I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy when I saw her. Seeing her image reminded me a bit of the lady in black in the vision I had had while looking for Suzanne. That could also have represented Deirdre. I still wasn't quite certain whether she was really dead or not. All information on the subject had been pretty vague so far, and I must admit that I had somewhat been skirting around the subject of finding out the truth. Perhaps I shouldn't do that anymore. If Deirdre was indeed part of my current problems, then perhaps I should go looking for her too, after I had found my son of course.

     Then again her card might also mean that my problems mainly stemmed from the fact that I was Deirdre's son. Mother herself might not be involved in this at all. That's the biggest problem with these tarot readings: all too often they're too ambiguous to be of any real use.

     Just to prove my point, the next four were all minor cards which could all be read in more than one way and didn't really help me to understand my problems. The final card, though, did seem to be useful. The pivot, the true solution or the next logical step. Whose card should it be but Sand's?

     In hindsight that vision with all those women seemed to be fitting. I mean, my life seemed to be swamped with ladies at the moment. So the next step in my troubles had something to do with Sand, had it? I wondered whether I would inevatibly meet her. Perhaps I should contact her right away. Maybe the card didn't mean that I was about to meet her again after all; perhaps she was only directing certain events from behind the scenes. In that case confronting her directly might lead to some quick answers. And if we were destined to meet after all, I would only be putting that meeting forward. Yes, I decided I didn't really have anything to lose by trying to reach her just now. And besides, it felt good to take the initiative like that.

     I picked up her card and started concentrating. The image swirled before my eyes for a moment and then it focused. Sand was standing in a room somewhere, wearing brown and beige. Hmm, I had been right about brown being her colour. The wall behind her was decorated with several interesting paintings. From a professional point of view I would like to have a chance to study some of them a bit closer, but there was also one painting that somehow struck a personal chord. I recognised that style from somewhere. Couldn't say from where, though. It was just awfully familiar; if only I could have a closer look.

     No such luck. The few seconds that one can remain silent before starting a conversation without seeming impolite had passed and Sand was looking at me with an expectant and amused smile. Best try to seem firm and resolute.

     "Aunt Sand, it's lovely to see you again. I thought that perhaps it was time for us to have another talk."

     "Well, I think I can spare some time. Maybe there's a particular question you want to ask me?"

     "More than one, I believe. Perhaps it would be a good idea to work with a same kind of deal as we did the first time we met."

     "That deal is still valid, as far as I know." She looked very serious as she said this. Suddenly it hit me: she meant that private deal we had made concerning that girl whose Trump she had shown us. What was her name again? Oh yes, that's right, Aradia.

     "I think you misunderstand me," I said. "I meant the question and answer deal. I have some things I want to know and I thought that perhaps we could trade info like we did the last time."

     "Well, it's a nice idea, but there's one problem: I have nothing to ask you."

     "Oh..." I had some difficulty conceiling my disappointment. "Well, if that's the way you feel about it, then it all stops here, doesn't it? About that other deal, though, the one concerning Aradia. You said that I was likely to run into her quite soon, but that still hasn't happened yet."

     "That's right, your meeting is still to come."

     For quite some time I remained silent. This conversation was in no way going right for me. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea after all to contact her.

     "Look," she said after a while, "I think you'd better call me back as soon as you have something worthwhile to offer."

     "Hmm, when will that be? How am I supposed to know what's interesting to you?"

     "I can see your point. Tell me, are you familiar with the Amber tarot?"

     "Yes, I think so," I said a bit hesitantly. I couldn't see where this was leading to.

     "The tarot is a bit of a hobby of mine, you could say. Look, I know that you're going to meet Aradia and I know that it's going to be soon. When that happens, then we'll have something to talk about. That is, unless you have something that you consider to be possibly interesting to me at this moment."

     "Well..." My mind was working overtime, desperately looking for something that I could offer her. I could, of course, always tell her about my meeting with Caine and the things he had told me. During our first meeing she had been very interested in even the slightest thing that had something to do with him. But no, I couldn't. Caine might forgive me for telling Random (at least, I hoped so), but he would never forgive me if I were to tell Sand. He had really seemed to hate her with a vengeance.

     "No," I said, "I don't think that would be right. We'll talk again next time." The last thing I saw as I broke contact was a knowing smile coming to Sand's lips. Did she know what I hadn't told her? Damn! All the Elders always seem to be so damned knowing and enigmatic!

     "What did you think of her?" I asked Wylde, who had witnessed the whole conversation through our mental link.

     "I don't know. She seems rather neutrally disposed towards you. Not really hostile."

     Well, that was something at least. Guess I just had to play this thing out. I did feel a bit annoyed, though, at the thought that I was going to meet that girl Aradia so soon. If I was to believe Sand, that is. It felt like yet another one of someone else's problems dropped in my lap to deal with. Another damned distraction. I knew that I had promised Sand I would help the girl, but when I thought about it it didn't seem as if I had got much in return for my good deed to come. Only some very vague information. It hadn't bothered me that much before, mainly beccause the problem hadn't come up yet and because I had been busy with other things. To tell the truth, I had almost forgotten about the whole affair untill our little conversation just now. It was only now that Sand had assured me that this meeting was scheduled to occur in the very near future, that I started brooding about it.

     Yet promises are promises, and I knew that I would do what Sand had asked from me, even though it would again distract me from my true purpose. I might grumble a bit about it, but I would do it alright. That's just the nature of this beast.

     There was a quick rapping at my door announcing Diana's presence and shaking me from my reveries. She was ready for the trip, wearing a splendid riding-costume which reminded me a lot of the first time we had met. The sword hanging at her side made me wonder just how good she actually was with that thing. Perhaps I would find out one of these days.

     We walked towards the stables where as I hoped two horses would be ready for us. Suddenly Diana stopped. I turned towards her and saw her staring into the distance, eyes focused on something or someone I couldn't see. If my guess was right it had to be a someone; obviously someone had Trumped her. I was a bit curious as to who it might be. Of course I could always intrude on the conversation just by touching Diana. I hesitated... No, I'd better not. It wouldn't be very polite.

     "Yes, but..." Diana said. She frowned. "But surely not that. That isn't possible right now..."

     As I was wondering whom she was talking to and what they were talking about, Diana suddenly started disappearing. She was Trumping out! I sprinted towards her, but to no avail. She was gone and I hadn't the faintest idea where she had gone to. Cursing I searched for her Trump and started concentrating. I could feel the first few light touches of contact taking shape, I could feel that Diana was both surprised and a little angry, and then I was suddenly cut off. Not by Diana herself, I was fairly sure, but by someone else. Probably the same person who had Trumped her away like that. I immediately started concentrating again, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get through to her anymore. Damn, damn, damn!

     I got Fiona's card out and tried to reach her, but she was unresponsive. Then I tried Random. He was available, although he seemed a bit annoyed. Tough luck, this was important.

     "Yes?" he said in a weary voice.

     "I've got another disappearance on my hands," I replied.

     "What is it this time?"

     "Look, I didn't ask for this either. It's Diana. She was going to accompany me on my search, when she suddenly gets this Trump call from some joker who decides to pull her through to his side. I tried contacting her, but someone is blocking her Trump. It's not Diana herself who's doing it; she was quite surprised by the whole affair."

     "Hmm," he said, "sounds like someone has drafted her for some kind job or something. Some of my brothers do tend to have their way like that."

     "Well, I'm not amused!"

     "I can see that. Do you think that it might have been Caine?"

     "I don't know," I sighed. "How would he have got his hands on a Trump of Diana?"

     "Well, anyway, I shouldn't worry too much about her. I mean, she's Family and she's got Pattern, so what could happen to her?"

     "But she's totally inexperienced!"

     "Well, yes, I suppose that's true. Just keep trying to make contact and I'm sure that in the end you will reach her."

     "I guess so. But keep an eye open for her over here, and tell me if she turns up again."

     "Alright, alright. It's not as if we can waste all our time baby-sitting, you know."

     I bit back a nasty remark. Random seemed more irritated by all of this than normally, but through our Trump-link I could sense a little of what was really troubling him. It was Martin. He didn't want to show it, but he was really worried about his son. After all, he hadn't been in touch since he had disappeared through that Blue Macaroni Murlas had told me about. Of course I could understand Random's worries, so I quickly broke contact before I might say something that I would come to regret later.

     On my way to the stables I tried to reach Diana a couple of times as Random had suggested, but without any success. Maybe he was right. Maybe I shouldn't worry too much about her. As he had said, she was an Amberite. And he might have been right about the call coming from Caine, come to think of it. Obtaining a Trump of her shouldn't be that much of a problem, and although she had seemed surprised by the call she had spent a short while talking to the caller, which led me to believe that it had been someone whom she knew and perhaps even trusted. Caine fitted that bill alright. Or in other words, I didn't have a clue who else it might have been. If it was Caine, then she should be relatively safe, I hoped. Whatever the case would prove to be, there was not much that I could do about it at this moment. Best get on with my own personal affairs.

     The horse that was given to me was a mare called Dart. The stableboy told me that she had been a gift from Lord Canmaris, who is renowned for his fine breeding horses in much the same way as Lord Bayle is renowned for his wines. She was a perfect creature and the boy added that she had been used on Hellrides before by both Random and Martin. That suited my purposes just fine. As soon as I entered the majestic green world of Arden the real journey would begin. This time I decided to travel full speed. No one with me who was too sensitive for such a trip, so it would be a true Hellride. To my relief I felt that Fiona had been right: I was indeed able to focus on the blood-link between me and my son. If I would find him this way was another matter, but at least it gave me some hope.

     Flicker... For a moment I thought I felt something... I slowed our pace.

     Flicker... Yes, there it was again. I drew rein. Dart whinnied. She was breathing heavily and could do with a rest. I patted her and found a sugarcube in my pack. At the same time I concentrated on the strange feeling I was having. It felt like something in this Shadow was emitting some kind of waves in a somewhat regular pattern. The Shadow itself didn't seem to be altogether stable, but I couldn't tell whether this had anything to do with those waves.

     Now that I had stopped I also noticed something else: faintly I could hear the sound of several voices singing together. Not an ordinary song, though, more like some kind of religious chant. It came from somewhere off in the forest to my right, the same direction from which the waves seemed to originate. It felt like a fairly strong power source that was causing them. I had a feeling that I had better check this thing out. I dismounted and stealthily guided Dart through the woods towards the voices, meanwhile telling Wylde to keep an eye open for any signs of trouble. The singing grew louder and louder until we reached a clearing where the singers had gathered. They were all humanoid, but I couldn't tell whether they were male or female. They were all bald, dressed in wide, orange robes, and they all wore masks.

     Fortunately they didn't notice us; they were far too busy. Their attention was completely focused on the girl standing on the ledge above them. It seemed that Aunt Sand had been right after all: rigidly standing there with a vacant expression was Aradia. Then I guess this was the trouble that I was to save her from. Indeed I felt that the song of those orange clowns was some kind of local Shadow magic which somehow held her there. Aradia herself, however, seemed to be the source of the power that was causing those waves through Shadow.

     While I felt that I might be able to dispell that song with my Pattern, I didn't know what it would do to that power of Aradia. It might be wiser to study it a little closer before trying something like that. However, since I didn't really have any time right now to conduct any experiments, I went for the other option: call for help. After all, Sand had said that she wanted to be contacted when I finally met Aradia. It seemed to me that I had found her alright! I took Sand's Trump and started concentrating. No reaction. Again, and yet again I tried, but to no avail. Was this some new kind of curse laid upon me? Like, thou shalt never be able to reach anyone by Trump for the rest of thine natural life, or something like that? Damn! It looked like I had to solve this one on my own...

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Back to the index