Chapter 063: Socializing In The Courts
"Maybe
I'm wrong, maybe I'm right
Maybe I'm some kind of lunatic
You say I'm wasting all my time
But I know what to do with it
It's as plain as black and white
I'm gonna get close to you"
Gonna
Get Close To You - Dalbello
When I returned in Ornach Ways only a day or two had passed. Taureth had
started his research on Diana and I spent some time in his laboratory watching
him take blood samples, do genetic and magical tests, and work all kinds of
other esoteric stuff. He also did some tests on me, but for the main part he
concentrated his efforts on Diana. He cautioned me that he couldn't as yet
predict how long it would take to come up with a solution, so we shouldn't get
our hopes up too high. For all he could say right then, this might even take
years.
One of the
things that Taureth had already discovered, however, was that it wasn't a good
idea for me and Diana to have sex together, for although this would momentarily
assuage the effects of the Curse, the feedback between the two of us was too
strong and would in fact speed up the Curse's processes, making it come back
quicker and stronger than before. I guess this was for the best, but I worried a
bit about my daughter, since finding other partners for her might be a bit of a
problem, especially if your common Chaos Lord also proved too feeble to
withstand the Curse's fatal grasp. I expressed my worries to Taureth and he did
some tests to determine the actual power of the Curse in Diana. The results he
found were enough reason for him to frown: the amount of power necessary to
still the Curse's hunger by far surpassed the life energy of most people in the
Courts. However, there were a few exceptions that might prove suitable, most
promising of whom were some Houses whose members came close to what might be
called succubi or incubi. Taureth explained that these Houses had in the past
been afflicted with similar Blood Curses as we had, albeit less powerful ones
than ours, and in the course of time they had managed to learn and live with
them. The members of these Houses would be more resistent to the effects of
these kind of Curses and would therefore be more suitable partners for Diana. He
offered to look into the matter himself, since he knew some of these
succubi/incubi Houses of old, and I gladly agreed to it. I felt it would be too
awkward for both me and Diana if I were to go out looking for possible sexual
partners for her like some pimp procuring customers for his prostitute. As for
myself, I didn't suffer as much under the Curse as Diana and I felt that if the
need arose I would be able to take care of it myself. I could always head out
into Shadow if need be.
I spent the
first few days back in the Courts getting used to my new quarters and
acquainting myself to Ornach Ways and its immediate surroundings. Taureth had
supplied both Diana and me with small demon servants which he bound to us in the
shape of a pair of identical gleaming silver hairpins. These would allow us to
detect and open the various ways, as well as providing us with a sense of
direction and acting like a warning signal should we wander too close to
environments that could be harmful to people such as us who did not possess the
same shape shifting abilities as everyone else around here. According to Taureth
these properties were usually inherent to a certain intuitive sense that
everyone in the Courts possessed, but that had apparently not been fully
developed in us Amberites. He assured me, though, that there were but few areas
in Ornach Ways that were not suitable for human forms, like the rooms for
training one's shape shifting reflexes; after all, he added, his family had
always been mainly Gentra.
Since I made no
effort to hide my ignorance from him, Taureth explained that the terms Gentra
and Altra were the ancient ones used to indicate a rough division in two
different groups of Chaosians: the Gentra were those who had a general
preference for a mainly humanoid appearance, while the Altra hardly used their
human forms at all. The latter group displayed a large range of various demonic
or otherwise chaotic forms and their psychology also tended to be more inhuman,
or at least more alien. Taureth remarked that during his imprisonment the Gentra
had apparently taken control over the political scene in the Courts and
currently there seemed to exist a certain social bias against the remaining
Altra. The two groups used to be more equal in his day, he mused, while now
there weren't any Altra Houses seated in the Major Council at all anymore. There
were still a few Minor Altra Houses around, but they seemed to be only involved
in their personal affairs. It was clear that at some point a Gentra coup must
have taken place, but Taureth didn't know anything about it himself. He
confessed that these Altra Chaosians might also prove suitable mates for Diana
with regard to their abilities to withstand the Curse's power, but he felt that
their inherent alien nature wouldn't go down well with her, and I could only
concur. It may have been my personal dislike of shape shifters, but I could only
wonder about the sanity of anyone who would not be comfortable in a human form.
Except for
Taureth, Diana and me, Ornach also appeared in the Ways now and then, but I
guess that his son had explained about our presence there, for on the few
occasions when I happened to run into him, he simply nodded at me as if I had
every right to be there. He was too caught up in his own affairs, however, to be
really sociable, and I didn't bother to pry. Meanwhile, Taureth mainly
concentrated on his studies, which meant that I only saw him when we shared a
meal together or when I wandered around to his laboratory to see how he was
doing. All in all this mainly left me to my own devices, so I explored the Ways
and its adjacent Shadows, or spent my time reading some Chaosian literature I
had come across in the library. There was some weird stuff among it, but some of
the more straightforward narratives provided me with some further insights into
Courts ettiquette and certain social conventions.
One thing that I
noticed during my first few days was that there was another guest staying in the
Ways. I never actually saw him or her, but there were certain small tell-tale
signs, and once I overheard Taureth talking to someone else, while I knew that
neither Diana nor Ornach were nearby. Since Taureth himself had not mentioned
anything about this other guest, however, I thought it prudent not to pry too
much into the matter. After all, one should not risk offending one's host
unnecessarily, don't you think?
I must have been
back in the Courts just over a week, when one of the servant demons politely
interrupted my reading activities with a hoarse whisper of: "Master,
visitors." It presented me with a silver platter on which lay a small card
covered with neat and elegant writing. A brief study revealed the name of the
card's owner, disguised by an extensive number of titles and such: the Lady
Emall Grice. I had heard the name before and remembered the lady as being a
member of the so-called Chaosian war council at the ball in Galoria. Lady Grice
had a reputation of being something of a matchmaker, specialising in finding
suitable wedding partners for her many sons and daughters, as well as any
friends and acquaintances that came to her for assistance. There was many a
political liaison between different Houses that had come about thanks to her
personal involvement. So, she was a social figure of some renown, and I wondered
why she should choose to grace me with a visit, especially since I had not made
my presence here publicly known. Then again, we hadn't made that much of a
secret of it either, and any spy worth his pay would have had ample time to pick
up on the fact that House Ornach sported two Amberite guests.
I ordered the
demon to lead Lady Grice into one of the special sitting rooms that served as
reception areas and provide her with the usual refreshments, while I quickly
changed to something a little more formal before joining her there. As I entered
the room, Lady Grice rose and like a fine galleon she sailed over and curtseyed
before me, I responding with a graceful bow. She looked a bit older than most of
the other Chaosians I knew, especially in comparison to people like Ornach and
Taureth, and her rather conservative style of dress added to this effect, making
her even seem somewhat motherly. Her eyes, however, were bright with a slight
humourous glint to them, and I had to remind myself that shape shifters could
easily excercise control over their human appearance to fit their preferred
image, if it should be necessary.
"My Lord
Dorian," she said, "how good of you to see me at such short notice. I
had received word of your staying here and I thought to myself, come, why don't
I grace him with my company?"
"You're more than welcome, Lady Grice," I repklied, smiling
politely, yet guardedly. After the servants had supplied us with tea and cakes
and we had settled down, I asked her what it was that I could do for her.
"You should look at it this way," she said pleasantly,
"there are certain things that I can do for you." Uh oh, I hoped that
she wasn't implying some kind of marriage arrangements, for I didn't think that
I was ready for that sort of thing yet. I tried to hide my sudden discomfort,
but some of it must have shown through, for she added: "You are not such a
social recluse as Lord Taureth, I hope?" She sighed indignantly. "It's
an outright disgrace! Everyone can understand him still mourning the loss of his
wife, but there are certain standards that a gentleman has to maintain."
"Excuse me," I said, "I didn't know that Lord Taureth had
been married."
"Oh, he's so close-mouthed. That's what happens, you know. I mean, I
have no problems with House Ornach being elevated to the level of a Major House,
but they ought not be allowed to neglect their social duties, ought they? I
would be so very much obliged if you would assist me in this matter." She
sent me a pleading look, and I felt a bit more at ease, realising now that
Taureth was her intended target and not myself. "As you know," she
continued, "things around here have been rather grim of late, and I believe
that it would be good for public spirits if there were to be more of a social
life again. Of course the Major Houses have to set an example in this, although
I must add that you yourself as a Prince of Amber are more than welcome to lend
a hand."
"You
flatter me," I said. "My official title doesn't rank higher than that
of Duke, I fear." Better if she not refer to me as Prince in public, for it
would undoubtedly lead to trouble back home.
"Trifling details," she said. "In any case, you are of the
Royal Blood of Amber." Well, that much was true.
"But tell me, what exactly did you have in mind?"
"If you could try to convince Lord Taureth to accompany you to a few
social occasions. I'm sure that he will not be able to refuse you, since you are
his guest, and it will do you some good as well. Up till now you have hardly
been spotted outside of Ornach Ways." Hmm, she had a point, and I guessed
that some sort of entertainment could be nice, for myself as well as for Diana.
It would be a break from all the seriousness of Taureth's research in any case.
"I will try my best," I said, "but you know that I can't
promise anything." That seemed to suffice for her for now.
"In a few days," she said, "there will be a marriage
celebration of a young couple who have recently found one another under my
watchful eye, and I would like to invite you along as an honoured guest."
She reached inside her purse and placed a card on the table: her own Trump, to
facilitate communication. "If you would care to contact me as soon as you
have persuaded Lord Taureth to see reason." I nodded and thought for a
moment.
"Perhaps,"
I ventured, "it would be a good idea if we would receive an official
invitation for this wedding addressed to Lord Taureth and guests. In that way I
think it would be easier for me to win him over."
"Oh, that is no problem. Would you excuse me for a moment?" She
took another Trump from her purse and started concentrating.
"Siria, it's me," she said to the person on the other side.
"Have you quite finished writing those invitations yet? You haven't? Good.
There's another one I want you to do. Please make sure to address it to Lord
Taureth Ornach and guests. Just Trump me as soon as it is ready, dear, for I
need it right away. Thank you, dear." With a smile she broke contact, and
tucking away her Trump she said confidentially: "Siria, my eldest daughter.
It was quite a good match that I made for her," she added with a satisfied
smile.
We chatted a bit
while she waited for the return call from Siria, and in the course of the
conversation she readily divulged what she knew about Taureth's former marriage.
Apparently it dated from before the First War of the Eye, that is the civil war
in the Courts that had immediately followed on Dworkin's taking of the Jewel of
Judgement; the lady's name had been Triada and it had been a very happy
marriage. However, during the first stages of the Second War of the Eye, the
civil war that had ensued when Ornach's children had tried to deliver their
father from his imprisonment, certain retaliatory actions had been taken against
the friends and loved ones of the House Ornach that had taken some of them
completely by surprise. Taureth had been one of those: he had ever expected such
brutal measures from his enemies, mainly because he had not been the sort of
person to consider doing such things himself. Consequently he had been too late
in taking Triada to a place of safety, and the assassins had got to her.
Lady Grice
suspected that Taureth's current disinterent in social activities was still a
result from the shock of losing his wife, but she made no secret of her
disaproval of such a long mourning period. Although I found her story quite
interesting, I wondered a bit about her opinions of Taureth, for it had seemed
to me before that his behaviour was mainly a reflection of his basic character.
When I asked her where she had heard the tale, she told me that she had had it
from Ornach himself, so it must be true, mustn't it? I wasn't altogether
convinced, though: it is all but too easy to start spreading rumours about your
own family, especially if there is virtually no one but yourselves that know
what really happened. This romantic story of Taureth's lamented late wife could
be true, but it could also be just a clever attempt at image-building on
Ornach's part, and there were but few ways of finding out the truth. To do
justice to Lady Grice, however, I have to add that later on I began to suspect
that she might not have believed the story as much as I had thought she did when
she first told it to me; after all, she was also quite aware of where it had
originated and had been engaged in Courts gossip long enough to know the
different ends that such tales might serve. And there was but little that would
escape her attention, as I was soon to find out.
With the help of
Lady Grice's official invitation convincing Taureth that we ought to attend the
wedding proved not too difficult, although he did demur and protest quite a bit,
clearly signalling that it would not give him any pleasure. However, once he saw
that Diana and I both could do with some leisure time he relented, muttering a
promise that he would come along as well. And like I said to him, it wouldn't do
any harm to the status of his House for him to socialize a bit.
In the few days
before the wedding I had the unpleasant experience of running into Boadice in
the corridors of Ornach Ways. I should have known that she would have shown up
sooner or later, her still being Ornach's `personal assistant' and all, but I
would have wanted it to be later rather than sooner. Of course I did my best to
be polite to her and I made no secret of us being Taureth's guests, but when she
asked me outright why Diana and I were here, I replied with a simple: "Why
not?" She should know better by now. Anyway, as a diversive tactic I told
her about the upcoming wedding and suggested that it might be just the thing for
her too. She seemed quite enthusiastic, but added that she had to straighten it
out with Gran first. Apparently there were some overtures of possible marriages
in that corner as well.
With regard to
the mystery guest, I had an interesting encounter with her just after Boadice
had arrived. While I was walking back to my chambers one afternoon, I caught a
sudden glimpse of some movement in one of the sitting rooms, and as I took a
closer look, I saw that it was a little dark-haired girl of about ten years old.
She didn't appear to notice me right away, so I silently observed her
meticulously sprinkling some grey powder or dust from a big pouch onto all the
furniture in the room. I realised that I had noticed before how certain surfaces
in the Ways were sometimes layered with a thin amount of dust, but I had thought
nothing of it, since the servants always seemed to clean it up soon afterwards.
Now I felt there must be something more to it.
Although I could
easily have confronted the girl right away, I thought it better to stick to
protocol and mention her to my host first; now that I had actually seen the
girl, Taureth couldn't expect me to keep on ignoring her. Well, he couldn't, but
he could and did ask me to keep quiet about his mysterious other guest, saying
that it was a delicate political matter which he was not at liberty to discuss.
All the same, I got the impression that the girl wasn't here merely as guest,
but that she was receiving some form of treatment from him in much the same way
as Diana and I were.
I accepted
Taureth's wishes for the moment, but decided to keep my eyes open nevertheless.
As I have already said, the servants always cleaned up the mess the girl made
with her dust and powders, and I discovered that she wasn't happy about this.
One time I heard her having a tantrum in some other room, going on about how
they had to leave everything in place and not ruin her work. The day before the
wedding it finally came to a confrontation between us as I caught her trying to
layer my rooms in dust. I smiled at her, but refused her entrance, at which she
shouted at me that I was being very mean to her. I tried to find out from her
why she was so obsessed with spraying her powders everywhere, but she simply
gave me an exasperated look and stomped off angrily to find some room that she
had not been barred from. On a whim I just very lightly concentrated to enhance
my vision and took another look at the little angry figure before she rounded a
corner. The result baffled me enough to forget about concentrating any further:
the girl had the Blood of Amber. Not only that, but she even appeared to have
walked both the Pattern and the Logrus!
Allowing for a
moment to let this information sink in, I suddenly realised who she must be.
There weren't that many people who had walked both these Powers after all, and
one was already dead. There had been reports of another one being at the scene
of the crime at that time, which was also the last thing that I had heard of
her. Could it be that the damaging and consequent restoration of the Logrus had
had such an odd side-effect on her? Well, who knows, but it would certainly
explain why she needed Taureth's help. Hmm, I would continue to keep quiet about
her for a while longer, but knowing the actual whereabouts of Lady Dara Sawall
was the sort of information that might come in handy later on.
Even though Lord
Keral Tharym and his betrothed Lady Fanya Kualdune ranked only among the Minor
Chaos nobility, quite a few of the more important Chaos Houses had sent
representatives to the wedding. No doubt this was the result of Lady Grice's
patient efforts to bring back some light into their recently darkened social
world. One of the things I had learned about the Heads of the Major Houses was
that all of them were regarded with a great deal of respect because of the
specific functions they had in Courts life, which in the case of Lady Grice was
that of official matchmaker and leading lady of the social scene. When someone
like her sent out an invitation, ignoring it could be construed as a severe
affront to the Lady herself, and it wouldn't do to insult a Head of one of the
Major Houses unduly. Rumour had it, by the way, that Lady Grice had not always
played the same role which she currently had: it was whispered that she had been
the previous Queen of the Court of Love before Lady Rosala Thurston had taken
over from her. Seeing Lady Grice now it seemed hard to believe, unless one
remembered that the Chaosian shape shifting abilities could subconsciously as
well as consciously determine a person's public appearance, and hers fitted her
role to a tee.
Since the
Serpent Cathedral was still under construction, the wedding ceremony itself took
place in the private chapel in Tharym Ways, with the subsequent reception and
celebrations in the House's common quarters. Everyone had gone to a great deal
of trouble to ensure that this would be a very special occasion, yet all the
festivities couldn't dispell the nagging feeling of doom and distrust that hung
over the gathering. It didn't help that this was so clearly a political
marriage: House Tharym and House Kualdune were relative small fish in the big
pond of the Minor Council, but their alliance would most certainly ensure their
survival and might even help them to climb a few rungs on the political ladder.
A marriage is the usual way of consolidating such an important bond, and the
fact that Keral was the recent new Head of House Tharym made everyone's strong
dedication to the cause especially apparent. What was also plain was the unease
and perhaps even slight unhappiness with which the two newly-weds treated one
another; apparently they had only met once or twice before, and there could
hardly be any talk of love between them. Fact was that Lord Keral was said to
have a preference for sexual partners of his own gender, a rumour Lady Fanya
must have apparently picked up as well, judging from her cool and distant
manner. Of course her rather pale complexion, black hair and very dark eyes
added to this icy demeanour.
As I offered my
congratulations to the both of them during the reception, I got a clearer
impression of them, which eventually inspired me to intrude upon their lives in
the way that I did. Keral was fairly business-like and straightforward, with his
short lightbrownish hair and neatly trimmed beard, though he seemed a bit wary
of suddenly having true live Amberites for guests (did I mention Boadice had
also shown up, with Gran on her arm of course?), but Fanya was the real
surprise. Bringing her hand up to my mouth for a congratulatory kiss, I suddenly
caught a flash from her of such an intense passion that it sparked something in
me. She stiffly thanked me and withdrew her hand as if nothing had happened, but
for a moment I caught a haunted look in her eye that told a different tale.
Whether she had unknowingly reacted to the Curse or whether it was something in
her that had stirred the Curse in me I couldn't say, but the upshot was that I
simply knew that I had to have her. And she knew it too, although she didn't
want to acknowledge it.
I didn't linger
right then, but during the remainder of the evening I couldn't keep myself from
glancing in her direction, and I even had a dance with her on one occasion when
Lady Grice had momentarily run out of daughters or other protegees for me to
dance with. She was fairly stiff and awkward in my arms and I sensed how her
rigidity was caused by her desperate fight against her own feelings. While I
would gladly be rid of the Curse, it did have certain advantages, and one was
that it made it easier for me to tell what people were feeling and how they were
reacting to certain things, especially where passions were concerned. The Lady
Fanya's inner world appeared to be an almost continuous battleground of her
teeming sexual desires and her stiff prudish upbringing; most of the time she
must have managed to repress her deeper feelings, but my presence confused her,
making her feel both glad and strangely dissatisfied when the music came to an
end and I had to let her go.
Half following
her with my eyes, I was making my way to one of the side tables to find me some
refreshment, when a slender female hand suddenly presented me with a glass of
red wine. Tracing the arm back to its owner I saw a familiar crop of white and
blue hair and a pair of slightly amused pale blue eyes.
"I thought
you could do with a drink after so much dancing," the Lady Rosala Thurston
said with a pleasant smile. I thanked her and with the glass toasted her beauty.
I had already noticed her earlier among the guests, but the dancing had indeed
kept me too busy to get reacquainted. While Rosala and were talking, however,
the other ladies kept their distance as if carefully directed to do so. We
exchanged pleasantries and she inquired after how much time I was intending to
stay in the Courts. I replied that Lord Taureth had placed no limits on his
hospitality and that I would be certain to frequent the Chaosian social scene
for at least an unspecified longer period. She reacted with an everso slight nod
that seemed to carry more meaning than I could fathom at that particular moment.
A movement on
the dance floor caught my eye: the newly-weds had started off a new dance
together (actually the first one they had shared all evening) accompanied by
cheering and applauding from the guests. Both of their faces seemed to be set
into permanent smiles that had a certain painted on quality to them. Rosala
followed my gaze and then looked back at me.
"So what do
you think about the happy couple?" she asked sweetly. I masked my smirk by
taking another sip of wine.
"I didn't know that happiness was a prerequisite for Courts
marriages."
"Strictly speaking it isn't the most important condition to be met,
but - how shall I put this? - there has to be a certain degree of understanding
between two partners for such a marriage to work, hasn't there?" She
glanced back at the dancing couple and for the tiniest fraction of a second a
frown creased her brow. Apparently I wasn't the only one with doubts about the
survival potential of this particular bond.
"A casual observer might think," Rosala said teasingly,
"that you had more eyes for the lady than would be deemed proper on such an
occasion." I noticed that she had somehow managed to lower her voice to a
level somewhere between a whisper and normal conversation, keeping her words
from being overheard by anyone but myself. I gave her a mock innocent
expression.
"I don't think it would do to pretend in these matters, and yes, I
do confess that the lady interests me."
"You also seem to have some effect on her, I believe. Oh, don't
worry, I don't think that anyone else here really has the eye to notice such
things. Lady Fanya is far too accomplished in masking her true feelings to allow
that to happen."
"So what if
my presence does invoke certain feelings in her?" I asked, trying to keep
my tone casual. Rosala gave me a slightly reproving look, reminding me of my
remark about not pretending.
"Certain
things could be arranged, if one would handle matters discretely." She
studied me for a few moments while I barely kept the interest from showing
through too much in my expression, then she suddenly said: "In four days
time there is an important session of the Minor Council, which will certainly
last the entire afternoon and probably even linger on well into the evening.
Lord Keral will of course attend, but I happen to know that Lady Fanya will be
staying at home that day to allow herself to get settled in and get used to her
new Ways. An unanounced visitor would almost certainly catch her alone that
afternoon." I waited for her to say more, but she merely held my gaze for a
second or two before smiling and walking away through the crowd.
With a curious
feeling of nervous anticipation I turned to the bar to refill my glass, but
before I could get there I was intercepted by Lady Emall with yet another
lovely-looking protegee for me to get acquainted with. It was as if she had been
waiting impatiently for me to finish my conversation till she could make her
next move. To be fair to Lady Emall, though, she was not too persistent in her
matchmaking efforts, especially since I had not expressed any intentions of
finding myself a suitable bride. Having her girls dance and converse with me
was, aside from good fun, also good practise for them, and apparently Lady Emall
reasoned that if I just happened to take a liking to one of the ladies, it
wouldn't hurt a bit. And to be honest, all of them possessed the qualities that
a lady should have; it was just the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about
Fanya that kept me from taking a real interest.
All in all the
party was quite a success. The oppressed mood that had dominated its start had
slowly, if not entirely, been lifted, and it would seem that Lady Grice had at
least succeeded in getting the Courts' social scene going again. In the weeks
that followed more parties were held, some merely for select companies of
invited guests, and I began to make a habit of showing my face at these
gatherings, seeing as how it was a good way to spend my time here in the Courts.
Sometimes either Diana or both her and Taureth accompanied me, but there were
quite a few occasions when I went by myself. Taureth really spent a lot of time
studying and experimenting on my daughter, so I was the one with all the spare
time. Another option would have been to get involved in the political scene, but
it seemed too intricate and, well, chaotic for me to deal with. Besides,
whenever it crossed my mind I also recalled what had happened to cousin Merlin.
Chaos politics are not for the weak-hearted.
Ah, but you want
to know what happened between me and Lady Fanya, don't you? Did I visit her that
afternoon while her husband was away, and if so, what, if anything, did pass
between us? I must confess that during the few days after the wedding there were
some doubts in my mind about this venture, not only because of either the
possibility of rejection or the similarly valid risk of wrecking a marriage that
had not yet even got properly started, but also because of the hazard of
Rosala's information being incorrect, deliberately or not. However, the chance
of Lord Keral returning home early and finding me there only added a certain
edge to my already strong desires. Remember that being near the Logrus
continually reinforced the effects of the Curse as well and you will see that
ultimately I had no choice but to try my luck.
True to Rosala's
prediction I found Lady Fanya alone at home that particular afternoon, save for
a few servants of course. Nervously making excuses for her husband's absence,
which I of course waved away, saying that my visit was totally unanounced and
therefore quite inexcusable, she had one of her staff prepare some refreshments
and led me to a slightly larger sitting room which had a number of pieces of art
on display. While we waited for the demon to bring our drinks, I walked round
the room, studying the various objects and paintings and occasionally asking for
some extra information on them from my rather fidgety hostess. The poor girl was
clearly uncomfortable at the thought of having to spend some time alone with me,
but her own impeccable upbringing dictated that she entertain me for at least an
hour or so.
After the drinks
had arrived, I found myself a seat on the couch facing her and started inquiring
after her first impressions of married life, followed by other strings of small
talk. Slowly I allowed myself to become aware of the turbulence hidden under her
quite civil appearance; I found her easier to read in private than at the party,
but this also meant that she in turn was even more strongly influenced by my
presence than before. I noticed that she found it hard to concentrate on our
conversation and a couple of times I caught flashes of images from her mind of
the things that I might do to her while she was alone and defenseless like this.
Needless to say she immediately suppressed these thoughts when they appeared,
but each of them left her slightly more aroused and agitated.
At a certain
point she seemed to begin to relax a bit, though, and suddenly I realised that I
had more or less started to work more actively on her emotions, making this
scene of us together in this room appear like something out of one of her own
romantic fantasies. I quickly remedied this and soon her feelings of anxiety
returned. However, this surprising level of power that I appeared to hold over
her was more than a little stimulating, and while my presence had roused certain
desires in her, the feedback had also had its effect on me. The feeling that I
had to have her was back stronger than before, but I decided to try and see
whether I could not manipulate her in such a way that she felt that she had no
other option but to offer herself to me. Not very gentleman-like, I know, but it
was hard to resist the opportunity of not letting this appear to be a case of
outright rape if Lord Keral should ever find out.
It was
ridiculously easy to strengthen those images that kept recurring in Fanya's head
and make them linger a litte longer each time they occurred. Meanwhile I
couldn't keep my eyes from straying down from her slightly haunted face to the
ample view of her bossom that the currently popular style of Chaosian dress
allowed me. I sensed how she got ever more uneasy, shifting about in her chair
under my intent gaze and sometimes losing thread of what she was going to say
right in the middle of a sentence. Soon she was no longer able to lie to herself
about the arousal she felt at these fantasies of this depraved Amberite ripping
her clothes from her body and forcing himself on her, but the inherent feelings
of shame were still too strong. However, I could easily divert them to fit my
own designs by inserting the notion that a voluntary surrender on her part would
significantly lessen the amount of shame involved and perhaps even make it
disappear altogether. For, after all, no one but we two need know...
Slowly but
surely Fanya was edging closer to the rim, and just as I felt that she was
nearly here I stood and began to pace around the room again, giving her an
impression of restlessness and boredom. I pretended to look over the various
objects of art again, and while I was studying one of the larger sculptures I
sensed how she suddenly rose as well and timidly walked up to me to stop and
wait only a few paces behind me. I turned, faking a surprised look, and said in
an inquiring tone: "My Lady?"
"My Lord," she said hesitantly, refusing to meet my
gaze, "I... I feel that you have found me lacking in my duties as your
hostess. After all," she hurried on, "a good hostess should keep her
guests entertained, should she not? My Lord, I cannot ignore the impression that
I have failed you in this regard." I smiled at her, no unkindly but with an
expectant air. "Perhaps... there is some other form of entertainment that
would be more to your liking?"
"Such as?" I asked. Fanya swallowed, but by now she was hooked,
and she knew it.
"There are certain rumours of the Amberites and their
appetites," she said. "Some even say that you are quite...
insatiable."
"Perhaps you ought to show me what you have on offer," I
murmured, "so can decide for myself whether or not I'm interested."
She stiffened
and her eyes finally flickered up to meet mine. In that glance she must have
read the overwhelming desires that were raging in me as well, and with a few
quick and deft movements she undid her dress and let it fall to her feet,
appearing before me in all her naked splendour. She immediately turned her face
away again, like a small child before a teacher or a parent. A bit cruelly
perhaps I walked round her appraising her in much the same way as I had done
earlier with the sculptures, until finally I nodded. Of course I wanted her, but
a master must never appear too eager to his slave, mustn't he?
What can I say
about what followed but that what to me was entertainment was an education to
her? Although she still needed stern commands now and then to make her give in
to her own desires, she now knew all about them and would never be able to deny
them effectively again. Under my guidance she committed acts that she had only
ever dreamed of and learned to enjoy them as well. It would take a lot more to
have her do away with all her inhibitions, but when, after a long and well-spent
afternoon, I took my leave of her she had at least set the first steps on her
way to a full and passionate life of sexual fulfilment. And of course I had got
more than enough out of it as well.
The next day I
was having a quiet read on one of the balconies of Ornach Ways, still basking in
the lingering glow of the previous day's activities, when one of the serving
demons informed me that I had a visitor. When I heard that it was no one else
but Lord Keral Tharym himself, I felt myself grow a bit nervous, but since I
could hardly refuse to see him, I let the demon take him to my private sitting
room where I would join him momentarily. In the few minutes that I had to think
the matter through I decided that it was probably best to put on an innocent
face and act as if nothing had happened. In the worst case Lord Keral already
knew what had passed between me and his wife, which would make delivering a
challenge to a duel probably his reason for coming to see me. However, if he
merely suspected the truth, playing the innocent might just throw him off track
and take away any firm ground for taking such drastic measures. It all depended
really on how much Fanya had told him.
When I entered
the room Keral was pacing about a bit, but he did not really seem to be angry,
just a little impatient and perhaps slightly confused. I greeted him with an
innocently warm smile and a firm handshake, and bade him sit down and enjoy some
coffee or tea with me. Once the serving demon had poured our first cups and
left, Lord Keral right away came to the point of his visit.
"I was
informed that you spent some time at my Ways yesterday afternoon, Lord Dorian.
Is this correct?" He looked at me sharply, which told me that he did indeed
suspect something, or that at least he was aware of the worst that might have
happened.
"Oh, yes," I replied lightly, "I had thought to see you,
actually. I'm sorry that I missed you, but I guess it was due to my own mistake
of not announcing my visit." I tried to present a genuinely regretful face
to him and added: "Your wife played the perfect hostess, I assure you, and
I had a wonderful time, but..." I shrugged and sighed, leaving it up to him
to finish the sentence himself. I immediately sensed that my answer had done a
lot to reassure him, and it didn't take me much to figure out what he must be
thinking. After all, those rumours about him were quite persistent. Oh well, if
he thought that had been my reason for visiting Tharym Ways, he would surely
never believe that I had dishonoured his wife.
In the course of
our conversation I certainly got the impression that Keral wouldn't have liked
to defend Fanya's name anyway, but that his own honour would have demanded it of
him. He was, therefore, rather relieved and eager to accept my alibi, and made
few efforts to discredit it. Still, he couldn't be entirely sure of my motives
for wanting to see him, since they may just as easily have been political or
otherwise.
We talked a
while and Keral soon discovered that politics wasn't one of my main interests,
so we sort of drifted to some general differences and similarities between life
in the Courts and in Amber. I found myself being quite pleasantly surprised by
his personality; like Fanya he was still relatively young, and although he had
been groomed to be an efficient and no-nonsense politician, he still retained a
certain streak of naitivity concerning other people. This explained why he had
been so ready to accept my story of yesterday's events, but in this he also
reminded me a bit of myself, or at least of my old self. I hoped that he would
never have the same kind of experiences as I had had, which would surely make
him lose that innate sense of optimism, and for the first time I felt a pang of
guilt at having lied to him.
Meanwhile Keral
was still fishing around for some kind of indication that my interest in him was
more that merely friendly or conversational. Being in the same room with me for
a prolonged duration of time also meant that the Curse was beginning to have an
effect on him, but I sensed that he was more able to deal with this than Fanya
had been. It wasn't that surprising, I guess, since he appeared to be a lot less
uptight about sexual matters than his wife.
The longer we
talked, the more I realised that yes, I was attracted to him. After my possibly
imaginary (though I would never be sure) encounter with Samal, I had not had any
other sexual encounters with people of my own gender, but even if it had not
been real, that one rendezvous in the Black Shadows had changed me enough to
want to experience more, and it could not be denied that Keral presented the
perfect opportunity for experimenting further. Following this train of thought,
though, it occurred to me that my previous day's manipulation of Fanya's
feelings had more than a smattering of Samal's specific manner of pulling my own
strings to it. It would seem that he had already had a greater impact on my life
than I had thought.
Seducing Keral
turned out to be much more of a mutual venture, a symphony of certain exchanged
looks, the casual ways of shifting about in one's seat, and other words,
sentences or paragraphs in body language passing back and forth. These took us
fairly quickly to the more intimate stages, though, for he needed only half a
word to know that I fancied him too. In that way it was different from both by
experiences with Fanya or Samal, for those occasions had been fraught with
tension; this was far more relaxed, a coming together of equals that sort of
lingered on well after the act at a rather playful and leisurely pace. Quite
enjoyable after the more intense affair of the previous day.
When he left
several hours later, Keral told me that I should feel free to visit him again
sometime, but that there was no obligation involved. I was left wondering what I
ought to do, and the question remained on my mind during the next couple of
days. You see, after some soul-searching I found that I rather liked both Keral
and Fanya, and although it wouldn't have been too difficult to keep on seeing
both of them behind each other's backs, it rather pained me to think of them as
a married couple that would somehow always remain divided. Also, all the secrecy
could only backfire in the long run; all it would take was one inquisitive soul
with a preference for blackmail to screw matters up completely, so to speak. The
more I thought about, the more I became convinced that since I already had had
such intimate contacts with both of them, I should at least make an effort and
try to bring them closer together. Sheer arrogance on my part, you might say,
but since I didn't bother to discuss it with anyone else, there was no one to
talk me out of this venture. Besides, my plan did not entail a simple
explanation to the two of them as a way of opening up a dialogue between them,
no, I had something more in mind. If I was going to do this, I might as well
have some fun.
About a week
after my first unannounced visit to Tharym Ways I planned my second one, making
certain beforehand that this time both the Lord and Lady would be at home. My
timing had me arrive just as they were finishing their dinner, and I had to wait
for a minute or two in the same sitting room that had accommodated Fanya and me
the previous time before the somewhat flustered yet cheerful couple were ready
to greet me. They were all but too ready to accept my apologies for the awkward
timing and though Keral berated me for not sending word of my coming, he was far
too glad to see me to make a real issue of it. Fanya's pleasure at seeing me
again was less evident, but it was there all the same, but in the form of a more
private and smoldering longing. If only I had come at a time when she had been
alone, her glances seemed to say.
Of course Keral
felt much the same way, and I had some fun watching them try and find ways of
getting rid of the other in order to spend a moment alone with me. They were so
caught up in their own schemes that they entirely failed to notice their
partner's quite apparent fascination with me. Even when I actually frustrated
most of their little plans by gently insisting that we ought to stay together,
they still couldn't piece it together. When Keral, for instance, discovered my
interest in art and suggested that he'd give me a guided tour of the entire
Ways, my casual remark of preferring to have a woman's perspective along as well
was enough of an opportunity for Fanya to jump at, but failed to set of some
alarms with her husband. Love may be blind, but lust can be damned short-sighted
too.
The tour of
Tharym Ways was very interesting, both for the sights and for Keral and Fanya's
unknown rivalry. It did take a good deal longer than expected, though, since I
insisted on hearing the stories and backgrounds to nearly all the pieces of art
that we came across, so that when Keral tentatively suggested that I stay the
night it seemed the most natural thing in the world for me to accept. Their
earlier frustrated hopes soared, I sensed, but I thought it best to strengthen
them both in their resolve even further. Not that Keral needed much convincing:
ordering his wife to see to the preparations of the guest quarters he finally
got that moment alone with me that he had been hoping for, and as soon as Fanya
had left the room his arms were around me and we engaged in a passionate kiss.
After he had lightly scolded me for making him wait so long, he barely had time
to promise to come to my room that night before Fanya returned. Fortunately he
wasn't ready to flaunt his love affairs before his recently married wife just
yet, so there was a discreet distance between us when she actually entered.
Fanya brought
news of a messenger who had arrived at the Ways wanting to speak to the Lord of
the House in person. Apparently it was some Minor Council business, and since
the messenger came from a slightly more important House Keral could hardly
afford to keep him waiting, thus giving me a few minutes alone with Fanya. She
was far less forward than her husband, and even though we had already been quite
intimate during my previous visit, she still seemed unsure of whether she
actually wanted to relive the experience. From my spot on the couch I fixed her
with an unflinching stare that made a bright shade of red rush to her ordinarily
pale cheeks and caused a barely suppressed tremble to pass through her body.
Unable to bear my gaze for very long she looked down to hide her eyes. It was
clear that any and all initiative had to come from me. I sharply called out her
name, making her head jerk up once more, and told her to come closer. She slowly
edged towards me and when she stopped at a pace or two away from me, I stood up
and moved even closer. Her eyes had ranged downwards again, and like before I
could feel the emotions at war inside of her, this time even stronger because of
the very acute dread of being discovered by her husband.
"I came
back for you," I said softly in her ear, standing very ,very close beside
her. She shivered. I reached out with my hand and lifted her chin, turning her
face towards mine. "Now is not the time," I said, "but tonight.
You will come to my room." This strong assertion left her no chance of
denial, so she nodded weakly. I suddenly leaned closer and kissed her, in much
the same way that Keral had kissed me only a few minutes before, and she
answered with like passion. However, after a few moments she started growing
restless, fearing her husband's imminent return would catch us in the act. I
held on a bit longer, though, and only moved back a moment or so before the way
that formed the entrance to the room swirled and glowed softly to indicate
Keral's entrance. As I had expected he had only eyes for me and entirely failed
to notice Fanya's highly agitated and breathless state.
We only spent an
hour or so longer together, drinking some wine and talking, before the separate
individual desires made all involved decide that it was time to turn in,
although no one thought to mention a good night's sleep. The guest room merits
some description, since it somehow played odd tricks on my senses. It was quite
large and only sparingly lit by a few candles, which made it seem even larger.
As I lay down on the big four-poster bed and stared through the large opening in
the canopy, however, I discovered that the walls appeared to go on forever
without ever reaching any kind of ceiling. Somewhere high up above me there was
a small rectangle of what could possibly be black sky, in which tiny coloured
lights like stars twinkled and unlike stars dodged and swirled about. Taking a
better look around me I found that none of the furniture had actually been
placed right next to the walls. Thinking it only a trick of the meagre
candlelight, I tried a short experiment which revealed that I could walk all I
liked in any given direction without ever reaching any of the walls. The
bathroom that was connected to the room could in fact only be reached through
another way, so there was no need for any doors or such. Luckily I had by now
had enough experience with Chaos architecture to fend off the feeling of
disorientation, and a bit amused I returned to the bed to await the coming
events.
Not very
surprisingly Keral was the first one to show up, wearing only a dressing-gown in
his House's colours. My toying with him and Fanya earlier that evening had also
left me quite aroused, so even if I had wanted to delay things until she
appeared as well, under Keral's unleashed attentions I now found that I could
fight my own urges no longer. Soon I was so caught up in the act of love that
when Fanya finally entered the room, I entirely failed to notice her at first.
Fortunately, the dim light hid Keral and me from her immediate vision, and it
was only when she got closer to the bed that we finally spotted one another.
Fanya's gasp of
surprise made Keral look up too and for a moment I felt his bewilderment at
seeing his wife standing there dressed only in a thin neglige, yet it only
lasted briefly before he mentally shrugged and turned his attention back to me.
Given the choice between making a scene right now or making one later on he
apparently felt that there were better things to do at that particular moment,
and I can't say that I minded.
The shock for
Fanya was much greater, however, and for a moment she couldn't do anything else
but watch her husband screwing me. Yet then the realisation of some sort of
dismissal from Keral sank in and she brusquely turned to go. My voice froze her
in her place. Slowly and with even sterner commandments than before I overcame
the sense of shame and betrayal that she felt and made her stay. As Keral had
his way with me, I had his lovely wife slip out of her clothing and come closer
so I could touch and caress her. In this way the twosome did gradually become a
threesome after all, although both Keral and Fanya continued to have more
interest in me than in one another. It was only after a bit of skilful
manoeuvring on my part that I finally managed to pair the two of them off
together and from the looks of it had them enjoying it too.
In the end I
started explaining the situation as I lay between both of them on the bed. I
told Keral how he had been right in his earlier suspicions of what had
transpired during my first visit, and before Fanya would be totally overcome by
shame I explained to her how her husband and I had spent the following
afternoon. I was rather cheerful and tried my best to convey my sincerest
affection for both to them before asking them why they couldn't try to get a bit
closer to one another and be a bit more open and honest about their shared
sexual fascination, at which a rather sheepish look passed between them.
At this point I
thought it best to leave them for a bit to ponder the situation, so I slipped
out of the bed and into the bathroom. When I returned they were talking to one
another in low and confidential tones, and I silently settled down in a chair to
observe. At first they remained on different sides of the bed, but as their
conversation advanced and each explained to the other how they felt and why, I
saw them drawing closer to one another. I didn't think they would actually fall
in love with each other on the spot, for such things take time and cannot be
forced, but they seemed to be attaining that which I had hoped for: a clearer
understanding of each other's feelings and motivations and a certain level of
trust that could only benefit their marriage. And who know, given time perhaps
they would even learn to love one another after all.
At a certain
point the low drone of their voices and my own physical exhaustion must have got
to me, for the next thing I knew was Keral softly nudging my shoulder and asking
whether I wanted to spend the rest of the night alone. I glanced over at the
bed, saw the sleeping form of Fanya still there and shook my head. The bed was
big enough to accommodate all three of us and frankly I didn't want to see them
go just yet.
"Some
people would probably think that I ought to challenge you to a duel for what you
did," Keral whispered as we settled down to sleep. He laughed softly.
"Me, however, I'm still wondering whether I should thank you or not."
"Don't," I whispered back, a bit drowsily. "I got enough
out of it as it is, and if it helps to make the pair of you a bit happier, I'm
happy too. I only hope that you will let me visit again. It will be so much more
interesting."
"We'll see," he said teasingly, which was the last I heard
before drifting off again.
The next morning
things proved to have really improved between Keral and Fanya: they appeared to
be a lot more at ease around one another and I noticed that gradually there were
more and more touches of casual affection between them. They even picked up on
the love-making of the previous night as a way to explore the limits of their
newly formed accord with yours truly again as the medium. When I finally left
them, well towards the end of the afternoon, I marvelled at the way it had
worked out almost exactly as I had planned it, and only during the following
days I began to realise how much things could have gone wrong and what the
consequences would have been. Perhaps bravery is a bit alike to foolishnes in
refusing to look beyond the immediate aims sometimes.
There were
several things that followed from my adventures with the Lord and Lady Tharym,
all good and some quite interesting. I continued to visit them semi-regularly,
often failing to announce my arrival just as I had done before, and I spent many
a passionate hour with either Fanya or Keral or with both. Through our
encounters and her developing relationship with her husband she began to lose a
bit of her earlier cool and remote manners and became a bit more easy-going. She
did, however, keep a certain preference for the submissive role that she had
adopted during our first sexual encounters, but I suspected that that was
perhaps something which she liked to do when being with me and which she didn't
necessarily do with anyone else.
Aside from our
private encounters, Keral introduced me to a circle of friends of his that
shared his sexual preferences, and in this way I began to explore these
tendencies in myself even further. The interesting thing I learned from these
occasions was the slight difference that existed between homosexuality here in
the Courts and the way it was practised back in Amber. As I have already
mentioned before, homosexual relationships in Amber are still officially
forbidden according to Oberon's old laws, but there is a select discreet scene
among the nobility that everyone ignores as long as they don't flaunt their
preferences too openly (hence the stir that Murlas and Samal had created at
Ruby's party). Keral's group of friends was different, however, since
homosexuality was a lot more accepted in the Courts than back home. It was even
possible under certain circumstances to have marriages between partners of the
same sex, as long as offspring was in one way or another produced, which was
never really a problem among a race of shape shifters.
It was exactly
this shape shifting ability that made the real difference when it came to these
matters. I learned that while Chaosians could freely shift from one gender to
another, most of them, especially among the Gentra, still tended to stick to the
one they had been born with. However, in a society where physical form is as
pliable as you want it to be, something like homosexuality went far beyond mere
physical attraction. Slowly I came to understand that what attracted Keral and
others of his friends to me as not necessarily my body, but more my mind and my
mannerisms, which in some subtle way were different from those of women. Their
group came together not only to have sex together, but as much just to send some
time in each other's company and to talk and such. While the Amber group might
actually engage in much the same activities, the possible sexual encounters that
would result from these were to them most important while in Chaos they carried
similar weight as the other activities.
It took me a
while to grasp these concepts fully, especially since I noticed that it didn't
matter to me whether I spent my time among men or women or in a mixed company.
Of course I too noticed the subtle differences between the sexes apart from
their physical form, but as I gained more experience it mattered less and less
to me in what company I actually was, as long as it was pleasant and
entertaining.
Although we
continued to conduct our affairs quite discreetly, there were two people who
took notice of my repeated visits to Keral and Fanya. One of them was Lady
Grice, of course, and when during some minor social gathering she privately let
on to knowing about it, I admit that I felt a pang of guilt and perhaps even a
little bit of fear. This proved quite unnecessary, however, for she let me know
that she was quite pleased with my behaviour in general and the way events had
turned out in the end. During a more private conversation she confessed that she
was all but too aware that not all of the politically sound marriages were
always a success when it came to the actual likes and dislikes of the people
involved and that a lot of Chaosians ended up seeking refuge in discreet affairs
of one sort or another. There were, however, cases like Fanya who would not
easily take such steps by themselves and whose unhappiness could ultimately very
well poison a marriage at the core. In this case my quite improvised strategy
had succeeded in setting the marriage off on a better track and she thought so
much the better of me.
From the way
Lady Grice discussed the matter I realised that I had been under closer
observation than I had thought, which became even more clearer when I got a
personal invitation from Lady Rosala Thurston to claim special membership of a
little group of hers called the Blue Rose Society. This was a small circle of
ladies from mostly Major Houses, encompassing the entire political spectrum in
the Courts, who regulated their so-called secret affairs through this group. As
Queen of the Court of Love Rosala was the Society's leader and any new
applicants were subject to her approval. A number of Chaos nobles carried a
special honorary membership like the one I was offered, so the ladies had a
select group of men to choose from for their pleasure. Discretion was again the
key word, as was a total disregard for personal political convictions and a
readiness both to call on and to respond to the summons of other members. Thus
it was possible, for instance, for me to have intimate encounters with certain
high-placed ladies with rather outspoken conservative beliefs without any form
of repercussion. Occasionally the Society organized special soirees, allowing us
to indulge in elaborate erotic games that added a certain edge to the sexual
experience.
It didn't take
me too long to realise that Rosala's not so subtle hint at Keral and Fanya's
wedding had in fact been meant as a way of testing me to see whether I would be
suitable Blue Rose material. And I guessed that I had passed the test, although
it made me wonder what would have happened if things hadn't worked out quite as
well as they had. Still, between the Blue Rose Society, Fanya and Keral and his
friends, the more ordinary social occasions organized by Lady Grice and her
associates, and occasionally checking up on Diana and Taureth's research, I was
kept busy enough not to have too much time to worry over what might have been,
and I found that I quite liked it that way.