Chapter 107: Commitment

"Have all the idle dreamers awoken from their dreams

To find they're not alone?

Nothing now is really as it seems

This would always arrive somehow

Problem left unsolved, radiating in the here and now

And in my memory

Only just begun to understand the reasons why

A one in ten degree

Alternate between te faithful and the fearless"

The Wrong Side of Weird - IQ

            In the hours when we had been discussing the fate of Amber, Galoria had woken up, or at least its servants had. As I now hurried towards the infirmary, the corridors were a-bustle with people walking to and fro, carrying breakfast trays, fresh towels, and any other morning necessities. Hmm, some breakfast would have been nice. There had been a little at the meeting, thoughtfully provided for by Alexander, but it had been little and I could do with a bit more than just a few sandwiches. No time, though. Other pressing matters.

            As I turned the final corner, I saw Caine who had also just arrived, coming towards the door from the other side of the corridor. We acknowledged each other's presence with a simple nod. Alex had said that he had Trumped him first, and perhaps that was understandable since Caine had been with her when she was first brought in. However, I realised it still irked me a  little.

            There was a guard posted at the door, which had not been the case before, but he had been left with clear instructions and one look at both Caine and me was enough for him to step aside and let us in. A doctor whom I had seen earlier was standing beside her, but he too moved out of the way as he caught sight of us. His thoughtful smile was encouraging, but I couldn't repress a sudden urge to be cautious. Caine must have felt the same, for I noticed how he hung back a litlle as I slowed my step and warily approached Janice's bed.

            She was sitting up straight, leaning on one hand while rubbing her eyes with the other, seemingly trying to massage away some terrible headache. As we approached, she let out a low groan and looked up. There was an air of fragility about her that belied her usual competence, and I had to fight a sudden, unexpected urge to rush over and take her in my arms.

            From the moment when we had entered the infirmary I had been wary, sensing around me for any traces of Kreel presence. By now I was familiar enough with the Kreel to be able to sense their signature if they were in the same room with me, and in light of what had happened it was not unreasonable to approach her with a certain degree of circumspection. My sigh of relief was almost audible, for there seemed to be no Kreel around that I could detect. That was something at least, but from her dazed expression I feared that last night's attack may have affected Janice in some other way.

            "How are you?" I asked softly, when I had reached her side.

            She groaned again. "I finally managed to get them out," she sighed.

            "Them?"

            "My esteemed colleagues"

            I blinked. Her esteemed colleagues? "You mean the other mages in Quendor?"

            She nodded wearily and swallowed. I poured her a glass from the pitcher of water standing on the little bedside table and waited for her to continue. "I can only imagine that they had been able to aim their attack at me by means of a second Crystal Spire. There must be another one close by."

            "There is," I said. "Not in Galoria itself, but very close."

            "Yes," she nodded, "I remember I felt it too, earlier. Luckily, I was actually able to use part of its Power for my own protection, but it was far from easy." She frowned and closed her eyes. I glanced back at Caine, who for the moment seemed content to watch and listen. Still being a little bit on my guard I sat down on Janice's bed and regarded her closely.

            "You managed to break free," I said, "but did you survive in one piece? Or did they do anything to you while they were at it?"

            "I feel normal enough," she said wryly, and just the sight of that smile did much to reassure me. "But, well, you know what the effects are like," she added, aware of my concern. "I showed you myself. I don't think I would feel any different if they had messed around with my head. On the other hand, I believe they really would have had to get further than they did to accomplish anything in that range." She sighed. "And I didn't leave myself open either. Aside from that, it was quite a distance they had to cover, and while that second Spire is close, it isn't right next door either." I nodded. Like she said, she seemed to be herself, and I could only hope that the kind of subtle changes that might pass unnoticed would have required more peace and quiet than she had granted them.

            "The mages from Quendor, you said," I mused. "Did you happen to notice who were attacking you specifically? Were they Lucius's people or?"

            "No, just Lucius and his cronies. I didn't sense Andria or Patrick, if that is what you're getting at. They must have had some help, though, to figure out how to accomplish this in the first place."

            "Of course they did," I smiled grimly. It wasn't hard to think of someone who could have taught them either. "And they knew where you were too. That would have given them an advantage."

            I looked around the room.There was one other guard stationed inside, and the doctor was still busy in a corner, but both were quick to pick up on the fact that we required a bit more privacy, and apparently Alexander had instructed them that we were to be obeyed in matters like these. "There have been some further developments while you were out," I said once we were alone, and proceeded to give her the short version of what had happened in the wake of her attack. I realised I faltered a bit in certain places, which I attributed partially to my weariness.There was more to it, though, and I think she could sense it as well. Although I had tried not to show it amongst my relatives, I had been worried about her, and I had been frustrated at not knowing how to deal with it. My fear that she would be taken over by the Kreel had been quite real, even though I had seen how Random had been able to free both Vialle and Ruby by himself once the circumstances had been right. There was still a nagging little feeling that her mind may have been messed with somehow, but it was now quickly receding, giving way to an immense feeling of relief. As I said, I think Janice could have picked up on all of this, but in hindsight I wonder whether subconsciously I had not simply wanted to let her know.

            "Well, fortunately it wasn't the Kreel I had to contend with," Janice said, essaying a bright smile. "I think I would have felt them coming, in any case." She turned more serious. "So, securing Amber will have top priority for the moment, will it?" I nodded. "Well, you know what my considerations are."

            "Remind me," I said, although I had a pretty good idea.

            "I don't mind being of further assistance to you," she replied, "but I need something in return. I want there to be some help for Quendor too."

            "I know."

            "I think I've reached the point where I need some firm assurances," she continued. "It would be too easy for me just to keep on helping you lot, blissfully hoping that my loyalty will at some point be rewarded, but things are getting to be just a bit too dangerous for me. If I think of all the things I've been through lately" She shivered. "No, I need something more. I need a promise of some kind. I hope you understand. Of course, I really think I can still be of much use to you." Yes, there was no denying that, and she was right to demand some assurances that we wouldn't forget about her once this was over. It wasn't easy, though, especially after what Random had just told us during the meeting.

            "Well," I said, "for whatever it's worth, I believe that you've already helped us in more ways than we could ever have expected from you without us ever promising anything in return. That being said, formal assistance or promises from Amber are going to be difficult. Random has taken a back seat as our King, but one of the last things he ordered us to do was to be careful in making any political promises. I have to say I can see where he's coming from, although I may not agree personally. Quendor lies in a very central region in our Reality, however, and any official Amberite incursions will have serious repercussions." I gave her a very sincere and straight look. "Will a personal promise from me suffice?"

            Janice held my gaze for a few moments and then smiled wistfully. The dark rings around her eyes from her earlier struggle added to the effect. "It's not that I doubt your sincerity, or even your abilities for that matter," she said, "but I am worried that it may take more than just you to deal with the problems in Quendor."

            Slowly, I nodded, just once. Fair enough, I guess. "It kind of depends on exactly what you want to accomplish."

            She didn't answer right away, but shook her head pensively. "In the long run that Spire will have to go," she said. "That is in Amber's best interest too."

            "Yes," I replied, "that is in Amber's best interest, that is in all our best interest, but is it in your best interest as well? A large part of your personal Power and ablities stem from that Crystal Spire, let's be honest about it." I didn't want her to commit to deals that she might come to regret later.

            "Well, what can I say?" she replied, her expression very serious. "Naturally, I wouldn't mind if the Enemy would just pack up and leave Quendor while the Crystal Spire remains behind. You wouldn't hear me complain about that. However, if the only solution to our problems is to demolish that Spire altogether, then that's the way it's got to be.

            "And no, I don't know what that course of action would leave me with. Maybe everything would be gone, maybe a little bit of my Power would remain." She shook her head and sighed. "I had reconciled myself to what I used to be a long time ago, and it's been very strange to have had this change thrust upon me. But I'm not prepared to hold on to it at the risk of losing Quendor and all the people that live there. I realise the others may view things differently, though."

            I regarded her in silence for a while as she was staring at her hands lying on top of the hospital sheet. Would I be able to match her bravery, I wondered, should I ever find myself in a similar situation? Would I be able to give up the Pattern and every bit of Power I derived from it to save Amber, or our Reality, or maybe simply the people that I cared for? I guess you never know until you're really put to the test, but I feared if the moment did find me I wouldn't be able to make the same decisions so easily as she.

**

            The silence was broken by Caine clearing his throat and suggesting that it might be worthwhile to try and get some personal promises of assistance from Bleys and possibly even Fiona, although Fi of course wouldn't be available for some time. Both of them had personal ties with Quendor, though, and their Amberite sense of pride could be sufficient to get them involved.

            I smiled wryly and said: "If Fi even returns a little bit to her old self, she'll definitely want to go back to Quendor and run amok, so to speak. Perhaps she'll be more careful this time around. One can only hope, I  guess."

            "Maybe an additional promise from Bleys, besides Dorian's, will be enough for now?" Caine suggested. "I'll have to pass, in any case, for my priorities lie elsewhere. Not that I will not help if the timing is convenient and if I'm not busy with anything else, but I'll need to keep my hands free to deal with other possible problems." I'm sure he did. Typically Caine, I guess.

            "I could check to see whether Bleys can come over to discuss this for a few moments," I said, turning back to Janice. "Caine is right in that Bleys would have a larger stake in Quendor than other Amberites. This affects him personally, and with Fiona out of the way I could even see him indulge in some vengeful measures on her behalf. As a matter of fact, I think he's going to Quendor pretty soon."

            Janice shrugged. "From what you've told me, this sounds like the best deal I could hope to get out of it, for the time being anyway."

            When Bleys answered his Trump call I could see he was in the company of some weird blue-skinned figure who was wearing a turban. They were looking at some blueprints and making alterations here and there. I guess this must be the djinn he had mentioned during the meeting. I told Bleys that Janice had regained consciousness and that there were some things we needed to talk to him about, including some new details about Quendor. He nodded, told the djinn to continue as planned, and stepped through.

            The first thing I did was to explain to him about the mental assault on Janice: how it appeared to have been done, who had been involved, and the fact that she had only barely been able to fend them off with her own Power and with Galoran's assistance too, which might have passed her by completely. The obvious conclusion was that he should not only be wary of Aurelia if he was going to Quendor.

            "I'd gathered as much," he said lightly and smiled his charming Bleys smile.

            "There is another matter too," I said. "Janice has reached a point where she requires some solid promises concerning help for Quendor if she is to continue in her current role."

            "Oh, don't you worry, girl," Bleys said, turning his smile on her, "we'll take care of it." I saw Janice's expression darken, and quite frankly I couldn't blame her. The only thing that could have made it worse would have been Bleys telling her not to worry her pretty little head about it.

            "I think a slightly more formal promise is required here," I said. "As you know, there's no possibility of getting any solid assurances from Amber, since Random has effectively forbidden us from making such promises. I've made a personal promise that I would help Janice, but unfortunately this is not enough. The question is whether you would be inclined to add something."

            "Fiona would have been the more logical choice here," Bleys answered with slightly less of a smile, "but okay, I guess. I have to say, however, that I don't find it easy to make any definite promises at this moment. My first priority will be to save my sister from anything that might still ail her. I don't mind declaring that Quendor will be high on my list of priorities, but Fiona will take precedence at all times. If the two matters were to go hand in hand, which is not unlikely, that would be all for the better, but Fiona is most important to me."

            Apparently, Janice had recovered a little from her ordeal, for she was able to bargain a little with Bleys about the actual phrasing of his pledge. Bleys's bargaining skills were impressive, though, and while Janice stipulated that Fiona would only remain Bleys's top priority as long as her current problems had not been solved, he in turn wanted to know what exactly Janice would expect him to do. I indicated that the deal would mainly involve getting the Enemy out of Quendor somehow.

            "Is that really what is required?" Bleys insisted. "Do we need to remove the Enemy from Quendor or do we only need to depose this Lucius fellow?"

            "Well, as long as Aurelia is still there" I didn't need to finish my sentence.

            "Alright, so the deal is to kick Aurelia out, is it?"

            "Lucius isn't the real problem," I said with a shrug. "In the long run I'm sure he can be dealt with, one way or the other."

            "I do wonder whether it's wise to deal with the Aurelia problem in such an isolated fashion," Bleys objected. "I mean, let's say that we're able to drive her out of Quendor, what's to stop her from just going to some other Shadow, erecting a new Spire, and putting us right back where we started from? We need to keep sight of the bigger picture here."

            "If Aurelia starts again from scratch somewhere else, then let her," I sighed. "The important thing here is to help Janice free Quendor, and in return she'll give us valuable assistance with all the various projects that we've discussed during the meeting. And I don't need to remind you that we really need her help, do I?" Fortunately, I didn't. Bleys argued and bargained on just a little longer, but in the end he made his promise, with just that one special clause of wanting to see to Fiona before anything else. That being done, he nodded a goodbye to us and immediately went off again. Caine had a slight smile on his face, and I realised that he must have enjoyed his brother being sort of cajoled into this promise, and him being a witness to it too. He said he was going to arrange some breakfast for us and stepped out too, leaving Janice and me alone in the room.

            "Look," I said, after an awkward moment or two, "there is something I have to say about the possible destruction of those Crystal Spires and you losing your Powers and everything. We've talked about this before, in more general terms, but" I stopped momentarily, struggling for words. "It's just that, should it come to that, I wouldn't think any less of you"

            Smooth, Dorian. That wasn't what you were trying to say, was it?

            Janice smiled at me, however. "I know you respect me," she said, "in as far"

            I shook my head a little. "It may be more than that," I mumbled, "I'm not really sure."

            "Let's not worry about such things right now," she replied, but her smile still carried its warmth. "But if everything is behind us, I'll ask you out on another date, and then we'll see whether we're able to spend a pleasant evening together without starting any arguments." If everything were behind us. That might be longer than we could bargain for.

            "Perhaps a working lunch would be a good place to start," I said, smiling too.

            "Oh, it shouldn't be all business," she objected mockingly, but there was a twinkle in her eye and for just a moment she reached out and touched my hand. It was a start, I guess. A start of something else.

            After she had drank a little more water, Janice felt confident that she would be able to move about, and when Caine reappeared a few minutes later she gingerly moved off in the direction of the breakfast he had arranged. With one private conversation behind me, however, I urgently needed to have another one. I took Caine's arm and more or less dragged him back into the infirmary, which luckily was still empty.

            I just needed to breathe two words to him: "Taureth. Ritual."

            He frowned unhappily. "Timing," he sighed.

            "It doesn't have to be now," I began.

            "How quickly will he be able to pull it off?" Caine interjected.

            "I don't know! The only thing I know is that if we were to do it now, it would neatly untie both Deirdre's, Diana's, and your own hands, if you catch my drift." He smirked at my mention of my mother's name.

            "If I were to tell Deirdre about this, I don't think she would accept any more delays," he said.

            "I guess not," I replied levelly, "but then we haven't told her anything yet. As far as she knows Taureth is still working on a solution. As for Diana, I don't think a little delay would matter too much to her, since I think she would be staying in Ornach Ways. So it's mainly just about Deirdre and you." When he didn't answer me right away, I added: "If it were just up to me, I'd say better now than never. Let's get this over with, so we can all get on with other matters."

            "Alright, let's talk to Taureth about this and see how much time it is going to take, and what it will entail exactly. If it's to be a very complicated and time-consuming enterprise, perhaps you could juggle some time streams or something."

            "I won't be able to do everything all at once, you know," I retorted. "I don't know all the details about this ritual that Taureth has come up with, but from what I've gathered I may well have to be at the centre of the whole affair all the time, and I can hardly start messing with Shadow stuff in that position, can I? Still, perhaps Taureth himself can make some arrangements to that effect."

            That seemed to clinch it for him. "Very well," he said, "this will have to take precedence over everything else. We have to keep very, very quiet about it, though."

            "Sure enough," I sighed, "just give me a moment, then we'll Trump Taureth."

            Running down the corridors I was quickly able to catch up with Janice before she had even reached the breakfast table. Panting just a little, I told her that something had come up unexpectedly, something personal that I didn't want anyone else to know about. This meant that both Caine and I would be gone for a while, but as agreed during our Family meeting she could look up Gerard and work with him on his Kreel detection magic. And in case of an emergency she had my Trump, and I would try to accept all incoming calls. Her smile was a bit wistful and enigmatic, but she nodded and told me that she would be alright. As I ran back towards Caine, I found myself wishing that I would see her again soon. Perhaps I wouldn't wait with that date till everything was behind us. After all, if the ritual was successful, there would at least be some reason for me to celebrate.